You Don’t Have to Be Chris Rock

Women are attracted to men who have a good sense of humor. I know you’ll be tempted but try not to give me too much credit for that groundbreaking discovery.

The problem with this breakthrough is that men will often hold themselves up to the highest standards of comedy when interacting with a woman. I’ve seen guys get in their head, searching for that perfect one-liner that will have all the ladies rolling around on the floor and clutching their sides in laughter. What often happens though, is that the women think he’s disconnected from the conversation while he’s wracking his brain, and when one of these golden zingers does pop up, the group’s not that into him, and instead of getting signed to a HBO special, he instead feels dejected because his very best efforts have just crashed and burned.

Guys, cut yourself some slack. Have you ever listened to a group of girls talking? It’s not exactly a slew of gut-busters being exchanged. In fact when a girl really genuinely makes me crack up, I’m surprised as much as I’m impressed.

And I’m not ripping in girls here. The point is that when two strangers begin talking, there’s already a bit of tension in the situation. Any little joke you make will then be amplified because of it. If you haven’t been in a coma for the past 20 years, you have a sense of humor. Instead of shooting for that perfect one-liner, all you have to do is inject a little bit of humor to break the tension.

Anyone trying too hard for anything will never be attractive. Realize that a lame joke said without much effort and with a smile is all you need to get her thinking, “this guy is funny”. Then, instead of searching the far reaches of your brain for the line that will bring you comedic fame, you can use your mind for far more important things, like actually listening to what she’s saying.

2 thoughts on “You Don’t Have to Be Chris Rock

  1. Here’s a theory to consider: A girl will laugh at a guy for two reasons – i) because she’s attracted to him ii) because he’s funny.

    In other words, its not *necessarily* being funny that causes the attraction (although it *can* help).

    Laughing/Giggling is often a ‘nervous’ reaction much like when she plays with hair, fidgets or otherwise acts like a nervous schoolgirl in your presence.

    Once, I got talking to a woman in a swimming pool. That day I was feeling cocky and confident and masculine and just dominated and projected my voice and felt cool and proud of my body. I wasn’t using jokes or lines – just telling her about my life and related trivia she was *desperately* trying to supress the rising giggles as she played with her hair and held my eye contact for at least 1-2 mins as I talked.

    So what I’m saying is – humour in itself can be attractive – but DON’T assume that humour will attract. Likewise if she’s laughing at something funny you said, don’t assume attraction.

    BUT if you’re just talking about light hearted stuff – expressing yourself – and she’s giggling at *YOU* rather than *WHAT* you said, then you can bet your bottom dollar she likes you a lot.

  2. I think there’s a special art to being funny with strangers. When I’m joking with friends, there are always lots of subjects for humor and teasing, because I know the other person’s quirks
    and background so well.

    When I know nothing about a person, it’s harder to find playful
    things to say. I suspect that’s one reason some guys get lost
    in their heads trying to be funny and playful with women.

    That’s why I think it’s a good exercise to talk to lots of strangers and make a point to get at least one laugh from them. That starts training your brain to see all the ways you can be playful before you know a person very well.

    For example, if you’re at the store, and you see a guy buying a loaf of bread, ask yourself if there’s something fun or playful you could say to him. Turn this into a habit, and one day it will be a hot girl buying a loaf of bread. By that time, you’ll be a lot more skilled at finding humor in what she’s doing, and also better in your delivery.

    This exercise is really pretty fun, too. Going around making people laugh and brightening their day is satisfying for its own sake.

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