Before there was sparksofattraction.com, the home of my testimonials was the now sadly defunct thesocialforums.com. Luckily, before the site went down for good, I was able to rescue these relics of my coaching past and present them to you in their uncut (and typo laden) original form. Enjoy!
August 2012 Live Coaching Experience
When I started to write this I was stuck with how to best describe something in words that aren’t all superlatives. “Awesome”, “amazing”, “fantastic” all spring to mind but I wanted to talk about my experience in a way that shows just how good it was, without just saying “F**King awesome bro, do it!”
….Well, quite a lot of those words tried to sneak into my review anyway…
Before the course, once I had organized it all, I still had doubts. Did I really need to do it? I mean, I had SOME success, surely I could just keep plodding along as usual, with things the way they were??
But was I actually happy with the way things were? Ah, now this was the crunch question, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel in control of this area of my life, and as there is no time like the present, I steadfastly ignored the wimpy-voice trying to talk me out of going on the weekend and stuck at it. Stopping myself from pulling out of the weekend was half the battle I must say. And bloody hell, am I glad I stayed on track.
Training with Nick and his colleagues was really, truly helpful. Eye-opening in many respects. The simple fact is, you can read all the literature on meeting women in the world, but if you want to change your patterns of thinking and behaviour fast, then the most effective way is to get coaching.
The weekend helped me to be comfortable in my own skin. To be unashamedly masculine. I am now far more confident with regards to approaching women – I still get nervous at times, but it’s no longer a worry, it’s more like excitement. I can happily hold a conversation with anyone, and if it’s a cute girl I can escalate when necessary.
Essentially, before the course, I was having success with women, but it was hit-and-miss, I was stressing out too much about it, I kept thinking I needed to buy more and more material – to learn more tricks and to know more stuff and only THEN would I be happy.
Going on the coaching weekend has stripped all of that BS away. I am now happy with who I am, and am confident that I can go out, talk to woman and have fun. And I can escalate sexually with confidence – a REAL issue I used to have, it was great to cover this on the weekend.
The only criticism I had of the weekend was the part that covered day-game. An instructor was outsourced to cover this, and unfortunately he was straight out of the “community”, wanting me to employ tactics like saying to a girl “I have to buy a gift for my niece, what would you recommend”. This type of stuff I don’t like, I prefer to be direct, and I’m pretty shit at lying, especially when the lie goes on too long then I have to make more stuff up and it just becomes complicated.
To Nick’s credit once this was fed back, we chatted about day-game. He assured me it would be covered better in the future and if I have any problems I can always get in touch.
A big thank you to Nick and his team, your coaching was excellent and I had an awesome time in New York. Here are some more excessive words – wonderful, brilliant, stupendous.
So yeah, definitely worth every penny. Can’t recommend it enough. If you’re thinking about doing the course and kind of sitting on the fence as I was, I’d say go for it.
Four Days With Nick Sparks: My LIVE Coaching Experience (April 2012 thru TODAY)
I would like to preface my recollection of The Fearless experience by saying I wrote this essay in April 2012 and forgot to post it… it is now August 2012. Anywhere I write [EDIT] means this was written in August and is what I’d consider a valuable reflection. It is long, but detailed and a worthwhile read.
Also I’m kinda’ giving away the ending right off the bat. Sorry, spoiler alert! It’s just in case you don’t want to read the entire “dissertation” (its a long read), here’s the quick and dirty lowdown: Nick Sparks truly IS the real deal. He’s an incredible guy with a never-ending, almost cosmically-charged flow of wisdom, youth, optimism and empathy. I am extremely fortunate and grateful for my experience with him in NY and I am honored to call him a friend. This shit can help you; change you for the better and it continues to work as long as you keep honing the skills! [EDIT] Um, yea… That statement it still SO true. Most surprising was what I learned about myself, not about women. Even now, more than a month later, I can observe the changes. I can feel myself evolving into a tougher, more confident man; a man more in control of my present moment and my relationships with those around me.
Okay, okay! In the immortal words of Homer Jay Simpson: “Less chat. More hat.”… and by hat, I mean story:
One random Thursday evening in April, I found myself on an unusually homely Bolt Bus heading direct to Times Square from the City of Brotherly Love. My mind was an electrified mass of lucid synapses set to rapid fire. Questions and unknowns ricocheted against the inner walls of my skull in an attempt to justify the emotional and financial costs of this endeavor: “What have I gotten myself into? Should I be embarrassed about this? How did it get to this point? Is there something wrong with me? What will I be like after this? What if this guy Sparks is just some tan-n’-teeth Tony Robbins clone; a hypno-tactical snake oil salesman? Will I truly be a better person? Will I get laid??” And those were just the first 5 minutes of questions… it was a 2 hour bus ride!
I arrived in Manhattan on an unseasonably warm evening and the city atmosphere was crackling as always. After dropping my bags and grabbing dinner with my dad, I headed over to start this terrifyingly weird social experiment on myself. Still mild and beautiful, the weather had crispened up with a slight chill by nightfall. I ambled cautiously down 3rd Ave towards our meeting point on the Lower East Side, passing a seemingly endless parade of pretty girls. Sure, there were other people as well, but my focus was clearly honed for the weekend. About 2 blocks away, I discover the bold, brightly illuminated sign – hand-painted against red masonry, shining above the buildings. My destination. I’m here.
After a few deep breaths, I wandered into the glamorous, glowing, bronze-hued bar area looking for the only would-be recognizable face: Nick Sparks. And I found him almost immediately through the thick crowd. He greeted me with a big, warm, welcoming grin. “There’s the teeth,” I thought. “Where’s the tan?” I make no apologies for my skepticism, for it has served me well over the years. Fortunately for me, Nick would quickly dispel all my concerns of phoniness, pretension or blatant bullshittery. Standing beside Nick was his adorable, truly embracing, new, female assistant coach; an intuitively brilliant woman with a wise, beautiful soul, who was a coach of human interactions and sexuality; and the four other guys like me. We were five random dude of varying age, race and creed. All terrific men, each of these dudes brought their own particular recipe of awesome sauce to the table as we got acquainted during this initial meet-n-greet. Nick laid out the plans for the weekend, we discussed what we hoped and expected to get out of the course and after some casual chit-chat, we hit the streets to throw words and drop hooks.
After each of us had thrown enough words to enough women, we split into 2 groups. Nick, one of the men and I went into the first place which was sparsely occupied. Nick pointed out 2 girls sitting at a table, gave me an easy opener (“You’re the only girls here, I had to come talk to you. Hi!” Simple. Brilliant.) and without hesitation, I bottled my nervous tension and went over to them like a abrador retrieving a downed mallard. Success! They were very sweet. Both married, but very sweet. Sean rolled up as the perfect wingman and we chatted with them casually for awhile. Practice! We moved on to some more girls and had a somewhat more awkward chat before moving to the next bar. Practice again!
Now I should mention here that, with regard to my social preference, I’m a dive bar/live music/casual situation type of guy. Not only is it a comfort zone, but it’s where I find my type of women. Y’see, I’m an artist and a nerdy one at that. It’s a point of pride rather than an excuse of any kind… I like me, but my personality tends to gel with the unique, the unusual… the outcasts. So when we arrived at the next bar, I’ll just say it was so far out of my zone, I was surprised I wasn’t suddenly Greenwich-Mean time. It was totally upscale and I immediately felt awkward. But it was packed’ with girls, thus understandably chosen. Nick sensed my hesitation and gave me some wisdom to proceed with. I approached a number of girls and had minimal success, but the point of Night One was to go slow and get comfortable simply approaching girls; that’s it. Nick and co. were on the sidelines observing our habits; assessing our strengths against our weaknesses. By that, I’d say mission accomplished. The evening concluded at a conservative 2am with one final round and and a wrap up chat before we all went our separate directions.
Friday at noon we met in a vacant collegiate classroom. A long table, a few metal folding chairs and a pen for each of us. Turns out that was all we needed as Nick launched into the lesson plan. We discussed the previous night and his detailed, remarkably intuitive observations of our “game.” His precise attention to otherwise hazy, translucent details was uncanny. For me, he pinpointed an issue I’ve long battled with as my biggest sticking point with women: I talk WAY too fucking much! If that wasn’t clear by the sheer length of this very entry then I don’t know what to tell ya’… but Nick was spot on with each of us, elaborating on methods for dealing with our sticking points.
Next we began running some drills in learning how to approach and engage women in a new, more confident and masculine way. The female assistant coach – who was a true hotty (a pro theaterical actress and dancer) made the experience feel realistically intimidating as we each approached her – bar atmosphere simulation with loud music blasting – and began a random conversation. Doing this in front of the room full of watching eyes didn’t make it any easier. If I had any negative criticism of the entire coaching process, it was this scenario simply because it felt so unavoidably manufactured and awkward up on a pedestal, being watched and judged. Approach and converse with a “stranger” whom I’ve actually already met (and talked at length with). While I personally found it entirely too artificial to be completely natural, the conflict here is that, well… how the hell else would Nick observe and critique us. So I took it for what it was worth and tried to roll with it. And in truth, it did help because the stress from being under a microscope and knowingly watched by people you’ve come to know essentially replaced the stress of approaching a stranger and being in the deep waters alone; it’s a different social fear in degree, not in kind. And so Nick would stop us intermittently and advise on polarity or the content of conversation and we’d start over. Again, there is really no other way to do this without elaborate hidden cameras and microphones. And this ain’t spy college! Shit.
Anyway. After lunch break (mmm… falafel) with the guys, we regrouped and were met by an unexpected guest speaker (Christian) who pitched in with advise during the second round of drills. It was pretty intense at this point because working with the gurus and creators of this program was an unexpected and clearly unrivaled experience. Christian’s advice was as on point as Nick’s, but stylistically different offering his own subtle nuances as well as a few fun “tricks” to make the conversation smoother. Interesting. For instance, when to explore her interests and what parts of the conversation to disregard. Nick kept his focus on the foundations like polarity and expression, our spiritual coach was focused on subtextual sexuality and our special guest added his little bonuses here and there. 2+ hours later, we broke session and went our separate ways in preparation for the 10pm meetup for the first REAL night out.
And holy shit, what a night it was! If only we had covered the advanced escalation techniques (the following day’s lesson), I easily could’ve gotten very lucky with a tall, adorable, surprisingly nerdy (just my type) 22 year old volley ball chick at the very first bar! Becca. Ahh, Becca… My buddy from the program and I winged for each other and about 5 minutes after he engaged her friend, the bar and everyone in it all but disappeared. Becca and I were completely engrossed in each other. We geeked out about comic books, Arrested Development, the American education system… shit, we even planned a fantasy trip to London! My game was ON! Eye contact was strong and intensely unflinching; polarity was tight: up close and personal; I was even escalating as best I knew how and she was fully hooked. Most importantly, I wasn’t talking her ear off… AND IT WAS WORKING!! We realized that more than an hour had gone by when her friend sprung up and swept her away to the bathroom. Now, here is a lesson for everyone: apparently to women, going to the bathroom means “NEVER COMING BACK!” Had I known, I’d have gone quickly for the digits, but I didn’t think about it and that kinda sucked. I really believed she’d be back, and in talking to my buddy about the friend, I’m SURE she would have (her friend had lost her voice, got self-conscious and needed to be taken home… WEAK!!). I hung around for about 10 min in the hopes that she’d return, but Nick was right. She wasn’t coming back. Ah well, disappointing, but it’s a long weekend and the other guys were floored at how engaged this girl was. Hell, so was I!
After that, talking to girls felt easy, albeit I was moderately spoiled by the sheer quality of my interaction with Becca. She was special and the rest of the night was met with average girls at best. We ended the night in a weird underground dance club and I met the tallest woman EVER. Easily 6’6. A college b-ball player I had a blast bullshitting with but wasn’t interested in pursuing. Ultimately, i just basked in the afterglow of the overall evening and anxiously awaited tomorrow’s lesson plan: escalation and day game.
Saturday morning, I woke up early and headed towards our classroom at around 10am, my aching head thirsting for a hot coffee and my rumbling belly ravenous for potatoes and eggs. On my stroll from Union Square to the Lower East side, I was sure to make eye contact with everyone I could… even dudes. Why not? It obviously wasn’t flirtatious, it was a mutual humans-on-earth thing. I was doing my part to coexist [EDIT] This is something which I’ve come to crave and do often. Friendly, innocuous eye contact for eye contact’s sake. Brief, emotional connections among people, simply for a sense of camaraderie here on planet earth. It makes me feel rejuvenated, like a shot of spiritual wheatgrass.
For the most part, my subtle greeting was rarely returned, but my smile was wide and unflappable. I wandered into a random breakfast shop and stood beside a lovely trust-fund princess (i heard 15+ minutes of a phone conversation to make this judgment call; i mean no disrespect) who ordered the most delicious sounding omelet. Inspiration struck! I turned to her with casual enthusiasm and smiling, said, “that sounds fucking awesome! You’re good at this.” She says she just came up with it on the spot, but I insisted she was an expert omeletician and that I had to try it myself. So I ordered it. And it was delicious (good thing, I needed that breakfast!). Our interaction didn’t move far beyond this exchange (in fairness to me, she was on the phone the entire time as mentioned), but the fact that it even occurred to me to interact with her about this was a bit of a personal milestone. An approach can come from anything and the more natural, the better. And it doesn’t matter what you say or even what comes of it, the important part is going for it; making that connection and taking it where it wants to go. Truth is, you never know where it’ll lead.
I arrived in class and we began similarly to the previous session, with analysis and a wrap up from the night before. We then rolled into talk about the big E: Escalation. This is the closing factor, literally, and the trickiest to get a hold of. It was for me, at least. Considering I felt that the first day was artificial to try to talk to a “stranger” in the classroom, trying to escalate with them was damn near impossible for me to do. We began by learning the techniques one-on-one with the man himself, for a first hand account of how it should look and feel. This was hilariously awkward, especially considering I volunteered to be the first guinea pig. Man, Nick came close… and by that I mean his physical proximity. He was ALL up in my bubble with junk on my leg…. it was a scene, man. It’s something you can only experience first hand, but I’ll leave it with the fact that if I ever had a thought that I might be gay or even bi, this would’ve told me everything I needed to know about my own “orientation.” as charming as Mr. Sparks was, I am neither gay nor bi. However, I also discovered that I’m a tad more immature than I previously realized (plenty I giggling). It’s cool, I thought. I’ll get over it.
Then we began escalation with actual women. And I failed… miserably. I couldn’t keep a straight face; it all felt so silly. Especially in front of everyone. It was actually the lowest I’d felt all weekend and I couldn’t really pinpoint why, but I kept giggling like a fucking idiot. Then it occurred to me: I don’t understand subtext. It is what’s holding me back in one-off interactions with women and if I can figure out this extraordinarily subtle form of communication, I’ll have it made. When, Nick?? WHEN!?! [EDIT] Update on this, I still don’t get subtext in the moment (when it counts). I’m workin on it and it’s gotten better in hindsight but it’s still my biggest hurdle on the spot.
We regrouped outside our building after lunch for day game. Following a few pointers from Nick, we wandered over to a street fair nearby and started throwing words and approaching. I had a few mediocre conversations, but nothing scary. No one told me to fuck off or gave me the evil eye, so by that it was successful. Then I wandered over to one last random, beautiful girl looking at artist prints. Her name was Kenzie. I struck up a conversation and it went expertly. Polarity, eye contact, subtle touching and other escalation techniques all built up to me getting her phone number. [EDIT] She and I met up 2 weeks later and had an incredible 4+ hour date wandering around the village, eating food, drinking at different bars and making out in various parks and alleys until it was time for us to part ways. If that isn’t proof that I dropped sick game on her, I don’t know what is. I live in Philly and she was still down to give me her number. Amazing!
Immediately following our interaction, Nick materialized out of thin air with a critique. He had been casually eavesdropping in us and his insight was very thorough. As well as I did, he had some very valid pointers on how I could’ve done even better with her. We chatted about it for awhile as we all walked to a bookstore for more day game.
Once again, I struck up a conversation with a really lovely girl named Aja, who was seated and comfortably reading by a window. We talked about David Bowie, human oddities and a plastic owl perched outside the window. I got her email address and we’ve exchanged some correspondence but i wasn’t quite the same connection as with Kenzie. It must’ve been awhile because another one of the boot camp guys showed up and grabbed me. We met up outside for a day game wrap up and planned to meet for the big Saturday night explosion.
I’ll preface by saying that Saturday night wound up being a bit of a dud for me overall. My game was off, I think because I was over thinking the day’s escalation techniques and my failures in class. It felt like every girl I talked to was ignoring me, putting me down, acting shitty for no reason. There were a few exceptions, but I was more or less off. I was being continually blown off and it sucked. I began to get wrapped up and started trippin’. Nick saw this and grabbed me by the shoulders, got right up in my face and effectively recalibrated me. It helped somewhat, but I was still askew. Everyone was having a blast and at a certain point I realized I was being impatient and that I had had several successful interactions with women all weekend. Then I realized something incredible about myself: that my impatience is running rampant throughout my entire life; it is an all-pervasive problem for me and I need to root it out. After some really interesting and deep conversations with Nick, and the other coaches, I felt immensely better and was ready to just let loose and have fun. We wandered into all the same bars, I had okay interactions in most of them, but my new found nonchalance had helped improve things. I got a few numbers, gave out a few cards, even got some emails back a few days later from girls I don’t even remember talking to.
It was around 2am when we were about to break for the last time… however, I wasn’t having it! I still wanted to party! Our female assistant coach mentioned a cool little underground dance club nearby, so after a little bit of convincing, off we all went. All except one of the guys who went MIA (we found out later he had gone home with TWO GIRLS! Hahaha… way to go!!) The rest of the gang headed over to the club and just danced the rest of the night away. I was really just enjoying my last night out with my new friends.
The following morning, we met at noon in Union Square for brunch. Amazingly everyone made it, as bleary and puffy-eyed as we all were. I was almost early but the L train from Brooklyn was 45 min late (it worked in my favor though; I struck up a conversation with the most gorgeous, otherwise unapproachable girl I’d met all weekend… ex-bikini model? Helllooooo???? We bonded! [EDIT] She and I have become very close, dating casually on my frequent visits to NYC… and yes, she is still friggin’ SMOKIN!
At the diner, there was a recap from each person about their experience and all the sentimentality one might expect from an intense weekend with new brothers and sisters parting ways for the foreseeable future. It was certainly bittersweet but there was still an over abundance of positively charged energy among us as we shook hands, hugged and bode one another farewell.
I made my way to the Bolt Bus and during the ride home, I recalled all of the swirling concerns I had on the ride in. The answer to them all was a resounding YES. This was exactly the right decision. It was worth the trip, the money, everything!
“My life is beginning anew, with confidence, positivity and my direction is clear. Above all else, I have learned the value of patience.” That’s precisely what I told the adorable girl sitting next to me on the bus back to Philly.
In the weeks and months following the coaching, I have had peaks and valleys; celebrated every success and strengthened my resolve at every pitfall. There have been girls all around that I’d never noticed before and I can approach and get to know any one I want. I’ve even been asked out by girls just from being chill and hangin’ around. I’ve been in and out of wonderful relationships with lively, unique women. It’s been fantastic because for the most part, I’m in control.
There are – of course – still “bugs” to be worked out of my game. Connecting on a deeper level with a new woman and my overall escalation techniques need improvement, but there is no question in my mind that I’ll succeed. And if/when I ever falter or question myself, get stuck or need any advise, Nick is just a quick email away. And when I say quick email, I mean it; that man does indeed check in and respond, timely like a champ.
And while I know Nick would say I owe it all to myself and my determination to be a better person, I know I could never have made it here without his guidance and infinite wisdom. Thank you Mr. Sparks. You have truly shown me how to be fearless.
– jarvis347 – 8/24/2012
July in NYC
I think if you read the rest of the testimonials in the forums you get a pretty accurate picture of the experience. I’m just gonna mention a few things that really stuck out for me.
1. You will find your sticking point
Whatever level you are at, you will find your sticking point. The thing that is stopping you from getting what you want, or stopping you from being your best. My sticking point (well one of them ) was escalation. I just didn’t know how or when to do it. Now I know that it’s a problem and I know what steps to take. Whatever level you are at you can always be better. Coaching will help you get past your sticking points and get what you want.
2. You will face your fears!
I was petrified of cold approaching girls. I was scared to death that they would shoot me down or ignore me. Well guess what! It happened!! I went in sheepishly and I got ignored. Too bad. I’ve still got two arms and legs. The world’s still turning! When I think back to all the approaches I made, most of them went pretty well. I got genuinely ignored once, and the rest turned into opportunities. Sure I’m still apprehensive of cold approaching, but there are ways of making it easier to approach people. And now I know what they are!
3. You will be a friend
The thing that stuck out the most for me was that when Nick talks about clients being friends, he genuinely mean it. In fact, it feels weird describing myself as a “client”. Clients are people I meet quarterly to explain why their fund has less money in it than 3 months ago. I know if I’m stuck on something I can just bang Nick an email and ask, in the same way you’d ask a mate if he’d downloaded any good tunes lately.
So cheers Nick for a savage weekend and an eye-opening experience!
One final point. There are no magic bullets. You gotta work at it and make this a subconscious habit. Every day is an opportunity to learn something and to improve. Do it.
– dentaku – 8/1/2012
July Coaching Weekend
I had spoken with a friend a 5-6 months back about trying out one of these weekends and we thought it would be pretty fun experience. We both always have had a lot of success with women but there is always room for improvement and sticking points that everyone has.
After reading “the game” 5 years ago I started reading a ton of different information online and trying out all of the different methods to crack the impossible code “women and how they work”. I did have a lot of success with different stuff but was always frustrated with the information overload and how different and contradicting the different ways were.
I found Nick one night when I was pissed of at myself for not approaching a Russian model that I had run into randomly at Starbucks and Wholefoods for the third time. What appealed to me about them was that they seemed like normal cool guys. Their approach seemed very simple and was totally action based; no magic tricks, potions or palm readings involved.
After a lot of back and forth on my decision on whether I wanted to really take the plung and go up to NYC for a coaching weekend I decided WTF lets do it. My friend who I had spoke about it with when it came time to make the move pussed out.
I will not go into to much detail about the weekend because the only way you will really know what it is like is to just jump over the fence and make the move yourself. I am not going to go into detail about what we learned over the weekend because there is plenty of information already on line. I am not going to go into detail about what we did over the weekend because unless you experience it for yourself it doesn’t matter.
What I will say about the weekend is that you will be pushed out of your comfort zone to take action in real social situations and will be given the tools to know what to do when you walk up to the hot girl you want to talk to. You will really see how easy it is and the results will speak for themselves. If you want to get out of your head and make sense of all the information you have compiled this is the only way to do it.
Nick is a great guy that is really passionate about this and it shows in his enthusiasm. What he teaches is stuff that applies in the real world and he will push you to make the jump. Unlike a lot of the self proclamed “PUA’s” who are filled with a bunch of retoric and social theories Nick will actually get out there with you and put into practice everything he preaches, and thats what its all about.
My biggest sticking point was actually taking the action and approaching. This is what I most wanted to get over during the weekend in NYC. With a couple of adjustments on how to approach and the push to actually do it my fear is now a thing of the past. I think this is probably most guys biggest problem and lets face it without mastering this then nothing else matters.
I wanted to wait a week before writing this becuase I really wanted to see what happens when you go back home and you dont have your coaches. My theory has always been that if after a week an idea still seems like a good idea then it probably is. I believe the same thing about new behaviors learned.
After being back a week I can definetly say my whole social skill set and way I look at things has totally changed. Lets just say that my first night out at home lead to me and a friend with 3 girls we met at a bar back at my office at about midnight
One thing I can say with certainty is the next time I see the Russian model or any other girl I want to talk to the “opportunity” will not slip through the cracks.
If you are on the fence about heading up to NYC for the weekend, take action and let Nick help you jump over. You will see that the jump is much easier than you thought and on the other side the grass really is greener.
– oletaly – 7/27/2012
June Coaching Weekend
I would like to keep things short, sweet and pull no punches. This weekend for me was about stepping into and embracing masculinity. It was about forgetting all the bullshit that the community tells you. I look back now and think about how every time I asked a girl about her opinion on something, internally some part of my masculinity was withering away inside. Nick keeps things dead simple. You will look back on the weekend and think ‘Is that all there is to it?’ and that is HOW IT SHOULD BE.
There are no excuses for not becoming the man that you want to be. Short? Ethnic? Old? Without wanting to out my bros, all of the above were represented in our group and rest assured if I was talking to the most beautiful women on the planet I would trust to a man every single person in that group to be a great wing man for me.
Will it magically change your life over the course of a weekend? Of course it won’t like I said I’m not here to bullshit anyone. However if you come to the table with two things
1. A willingness to go out, have fun and do what Nick tells you at least once a week
2. A willingness to reach down, grab your sack and man the f*** up
Then you can begin crafting the life that you have always dreamt about. I always use to get so discouraged going to bars to the point that I started to dread it. Now that I have a very basic toolkit under my belt for the first time in a long time I’m really looking forward to hitting the town. If you wonder why you keep getting into the friend zone wonder no longer.
Nick and the coaches will take you DEEP outside your comfort zone. I can guarantee that you will literally flinch, giggle or twitch in discomfort. However better they bring this out and point this out rather than a woman simply bringing out and then walking away right? Easily the best money I have spent all year. If your dating life is anything short of absolutely awesome give the boys a call you will have no regrets.
– donjuan – 6/20/12
June Coaching Weekend – Killin’ It
Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting up in New York City with a handful of other awesome guys from different walks of life, some of which had flown halfway around the world to experience the Live Coaching Weekend. I can honestly say, it was hands down one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
I know what it’s like going out, many a night, sometimes with success, often times, not quite achieving what I wanted and wondering what I was doing wrong and how to improve. Things had been “ok” for me with girls, but I wanted to be more than ok. I wanted to take steps to build the life I know I deserve. I had purchased some of the programs, Unbreakable, etc. – which are excellent building blocks, but frankly nothing compares to what you’ll experience in that weekend in New York.
I went there with an open mind and willingness to work hard, not really knowing what to expect. What I gained was invaluable knowledge of what my strengths and weakness are in this area – and more importantly how I’m going to improve and take it to the next level.
The weekend was a long one and we learned a ton a stuff- and it wasn’t like, memorize these lines and it will work out. This focuses on building a better man, someone who is unbreakable, fearless, and goes after what he wants because he has the passion and fire within him to seek it out and own it. We were taught key skillsets and gained an understanding of how to implement them by actually practicing with some amazing female coaches, that gave unbelievable feedback, from the all important female perspective.
That brings me to my next point about the weekend: the Coaches. I honestly can’t say enough about how awesome these people are and how much I sincerely appreciate their help. Nick, Fran, Cristina – cannot thank you enough for everything last weekend. The coaches are some of the best resources you will ever have – they will spend a ton of time and energy teaching you, understanding where you need to improve, and then showing you how to get there. In the classroom drills, they’ll identify exactly where the weaknesses are and then help you overcome them, and then offer guidance during the night out to make sure you conquer whatever hurdles are holding you back.
I’m not saying that I’m James Bond or Don Draper now, but I have a very deep sense of confidence in the knowledge that I’ve invested in myself to learn about this and taken some huge strides in the direction I want to take my life, to improve on this quest to get better with women over the course of that 4-day weekend last week.
So as I sit here in my apartment in Chicago, looking out over city, I’m reminiscing about the good times in NYC a few days ago, also thinking about the awesome night to come this Saturday in summer.
If you’re thinking about doing this, I cannot encourage you enough to take this step- jump on the phone and talk to Nick or one of the other coaches. You owe it to yourself- build the life that you’ve dreamed of, that you deserve. Go out there and own this life and be killin’ it.
– VK.NYC -6/23/2012
June Live Coaching: Humanity 101
It’s difficult to express the depth of gratitude I feel for Nick, Christian, Fran, Christina, the other coaches, and my new friends I made over that amazing weekend. I didn’t walk away with “tricks for chicks”. I left with a new understanding of my own power. The part I’d been missing. Everything Nick taught us we got to experience firsthand in the real world. His advice is incredibly solid, simple, and immediately demonstrable.
I am now having the kind of experiences with women that I simply thought I was not privilege to before.
Nick has incredible social skills that are matched only by his capacity to pass them on to you. Over those four days it was clear that he was giving us everything he had. Trust him and give that effort, and dedication right back.
You’ll find exactly what you’re looking for.
Thanks again Nick!
– ezpz – 6/21/12
June Live Coaching NYC…droppin hooks and seductive looks haha..
So first off I’d like to thank Nick, Christina, and Fran for an amazing weekend. As well as the 5 other guys that made my time in Manhattan an eye opening/one hell of an experience.
When I finally decided to take the leap it was an empowering feeling. I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but in a sense that was the beauty of it. I had been stuck in a bit of a rut before my first trip to NYC so the decisiveness to make a life change for the better was just what I needed.
Before arriving in the city I was able to connect via email with the other guys that would be accompanying me on this adventure. This way I was able to make rooming accommodations with one of the guys, which gave me much more comfort.
I arrived in the city on Thursday morning allowing me to experience the place a little bit before we all started. The night came around and we all met up at this bar a subway ride away from the hotel. It was very comforting to meet Nick, he really did make you feel like you had known him for years. We all had a nice conversation before heading out on the town. Nick had a great little exercise that was fun and really got us into a talkative mood in order to have a great night. It was just what I needed as I’m sure others did as well. We talked to a lot of girls. It was a great kick off for the weekend.
On Friday we went and had some classroom work that was extremely helpful. I felt very nervous and awkward during this time, but it helped out tremendously. Practicing with the female instructors gave me excellent feedback and great confidence for that night out. Once again we hit the town at about 10 that night to put things into practice. Conversations were flowing just as the night before but things were becoming a bit easier.
On Saturday the classroom session was extremely helpful and a lot of fun, more so than Friday. It was definitely a part of my game that I needed to understand and put into practice to elevate my level of success. This was extremely clear that night because things definitely started to click. A special thanks to Fran for pushing me to find the breaking point lol. The guys know what I’m talking about. That night I met a cute girl that I ended up going home with (some great help from my wingman).
Sunday we met and reviewed our weekend, realizing how we all transformed into more confident social beings. Said our goodbyes and also realized this weekend was just the tip of the iceberg.
Lucky for me I was able to meet Christian. He is a very smart and charismatic guy. I want thank him for his kind words and helpful advice.
To anyone considering taking this course I’d like to let you know about my thoughts. First of all it really was a blast. When you are surrounded by people that are enthusiastic about a common goal it makes it a lot more fun and enjoyable. Being able to see Nick in action was inspiring enough, but then to have a support system of 5 other guys looking for my best interest was extremely alleviating. In addition, Fran was extremely helpful, I could really relate to him since he was closer to my age. Christina was incredible to say the least . It’s really refreshing to get a female’s perspective and she is the sweetest most helpful person ever. Besides getting better at socializing, I met and got to know 5 awesome dudes that I consider to be life long friends. We have all committed to stay in touch and help each other as we progress through life. We have already started discussing a reunion. All guys were from different walks of life and locations. Now I have some cool places to travel to. On the flip side of things I would like to tell anyone who thinks that simply going to the coaching in NYC is a cure that will automatically turn you into a babe magnet after one weekend that you are wrong. Just like Nick explained, you will always have to actively push yourself through your barriers no matter how good you get at this. Also, don’t think that the weekend will be a walk in the park by any means. There were several times that I felt extremely nervous, awkward, and discouraged. But I did push through those times and if you are absolutely willing to do the same, I promise you will be happy with your decision to take the coaching. You must be ready to push yourself when you get back home, which is something that I now want to do everyday!
Overall it was a great weekend. I was lucky enough to stay Sunday night as well with the best wingman of all time(you know who you are). It was kind of dead at the bars so we went a strip club. A cute Russian came over to us and I ended up getting her number. If not for the fact that I had to be at the airport an hour later I would have taken her offer to go back to her apartment lol. Possibilities can really become endless once you have some confidence, a positive attitude, and a basic tool set instilled in you from Nick.
If anyone has any questions feel free to reply. My advice though, do it! Good things will come about during/after the weekend.
– narap – 6/21/2012
June Live Coaching
I’m going to start this post out by simply saying…. WOW!
When I signed up for live coaching it was decision I made right then and there that I was fed up with the way things were going with women in my life. Like most of you who read this I wasn’t sure if this was truly going to help me get past the walls we create for ourselves… Yup you guessed it I was damn wrong.
Arriving in NYC I wasn’t sure what to expect, sure I have read the testimonials and know the weekend breakdown but no matter how much I thought I knew prior to going I couldn’t predict the future events that unfolded.
I want to say that the group of guys who I spent the weekend with were amazing individuals, everyone was awsome in there own way and being able to know we were all going through the same struggles only to see new versions of ourselves by the end of the weekend is just something that has to be seen with your own eyes. Can’t wait to meet up with all of you again… VEGAS!!!
I found myself wondering at times if I would be able to actually do the stuff you learn, its amazing how difficult it can be to just say “Hey” to a complete stranger. Once you get warmed up though, that anxiety we all get starts to fizzle away. Dropping Hooks becomes second nature and thats when the fun really begins. You start to smile more which of course will project on to others in turn making them feel good about the conversations your having with them.
I saw myself enjoying each interaction more and more regardless if it was 30 seconds (believe me you’ll probably have a few) or 10 mins. When sunday rolls around its a very bittersweet experience. You have all the tools you will ever need to get where you want to be but saying goodbye… lets face it really sucks.
So now I want to thank the people who made this weekend one of the best I have ever had.
The entire coaching staff really goes above and beyond, the most genuine people I have ever met. The assistant coachs were nothing short of spectacular, and willing to help you every step of the way no matter what you asked of them.
I had the pleasure of meeting Christian who I actually had my coaching call with prior to the weekend. One of the coolest down to earth guys I have ever met and gave me some really great advice from what he observed.
Lastly Nick… Where do I begin. Talking to you I feel like I have known you for years. Every bit of advice and coaching you gave me I will never forget for the rest of my life. You truly our as great of a person as anyone could ever meet.
I want to thank you for helping me start the changes of the person I see myself becoming in the future as well as my actions and out looks on life itself.
If your wondering about the coaching still… Don’t! its worth the price of admission and the friendships you make with great people along the way.
– DanMan12 – 6/19/2012
***June 14-17 weekend training***
“Hey Bro what do you wanna do tonight?”
“I dunna know lets go to a bar and check out some hotties”
*Enter the bar*
*Stand against the wall*
Super hottie walks by
*stand here and look cool she’ll come over and talk to me, if she doesn’t, her lose*
* fck why didn’t she come over? i looked at her, maybe its my hair? maybe its my outfit?*
*order another beer*
another Hottie walks by
* i know, stand around and form a Bro circle and look cool. I can throw some words at her and she’ll respond. My friends will think im cool*
Hottie smiles as she walks by
*she smiled, its on, I’ll hang with my boys and finish my beer, then i’ll go over and talk to her when shes alone*
*wait for the perfect opportunity*
*have a couple more beers and then I’ll go talk to her*
Yes the above scenario is just an example of what some of us have gone through and maybe are still going through. We have all formed the bro circle, hell, maybe your someone who is farther ahead and you actually approach, something just isnt right, but you cant figure it out.
Whatever the issues you have, they CAN be fixed, you just have to be willing to do your part and do what is asked of you. Trust the process and they will teach you everything you need so that you learn about yourself and you learn about interacting with women. Its really that simple, Nick and team make it simple. Do it, it will be one of the best decisions of your life.
Are you going to have challenges? Hell yeah. Will you be nervous? hell yeah. Look at it this way, you can wait for a miracle and meet the women of your dreams to fall into your lap. Or you can sign up for what will be a life changing, eye opening experience. I mean that. And start meeting and attracting women in such a fun way. You choose who you want to interact with.
I’m not going to detail my entire weekend day for day as its been done throughout these forums. However, i am going to say that i had a great time and i had a difficult time, but the bottom line is i learned…a lot…a tonne, about what i was doing wrong and why i was having failures. So much so that i could think back over any recent interaction i had with a women i was interested in and i could tell you exactly why it didn’t work out. And only because Nick teaches you in a very simple way about what women want and what they expect out of you. I promise you, that it will make a huge difference in your life.
My situation was bleak, anyone reading this may be in the same situation, after all, your here, on these forums, reading a testimonial you must be curious as to how one weekend can help you change your life for the better.
Do it..contact Nick, the man is such an amazing person. Trust me, we both learned a lot about each other outside of a bar in the Bowery on Saturday night. It was rough, so much so that i was ready to give up. It didn’t look good for me and i thought, here we go again, gonna slip back into my old habits and be single. Nick…thank you, for everything. You earned a friend outside that bar and walking around the the neighborhood. Cheers!
Fast forward to Sunday, meet the team for brunch and the five guys i shared the weekend with, which by the way, are five of the best guys i had the pleasure of meeting and spending the weekend with, we shared a common bond and i look forward to the future and keeping in touch…Vegas Baby!!!!. All of them were successful, all of them learned. I know, because i saw them transform right before my eyes, over the course of three days and nights. It was a treat and an honor to watch. Thank you, all of you.
Back to me,
Feeling shitty when i left and a bit choked up since we grew over the weekend together. It was tough to say goodbye, to everyone.
Ohhhh….you wanna know how i did??
Before the weekend i was one of those guys that stood in the bro circle. I was one of those guys that made excuses to not approach, i was one of those guys that didn’t understand what i was doing wrong, just, that i was doing something wrong. i was in the 95% of guys that just don’t get it, sure even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while. But still very frustrated.
I see it, i understand it, it makes sense and is soo simple that I’m in the 5% that gets it. Don’t get me wrong if you think that women are going to fall at your feet and worship you, that’s not what I’m saying. There will be many challenges ahead. Nope, I’m only saying that i have the skills to talk, attract and escalate with women that “I’m” interested in. How do i know this? I’m setting up a date as we speak with the women standing behind me in the line up, waiting for my flight home….
– dally – 6/18/2012
Weekend Training W/ Nick Sparks – Mind Opening EXPERIENCE
When I found the social man online I thought it was another pickup type of site – At first glance. But its not at all. What I learned has really changed the way I communicate with ppl in general and especially woman. The products on the site Are amazing, b4utexther, Fearless etc. I have went over them multiple times and have been blown away by the skills I learned and use. When I signed up to the weekend coaching I was a bit hesitant because I haven’t done anything like this in the past. However When I decided to do it I said to myself “its worth the chance” And I tell you it was well worth it. Worth every red cent!
The weekend went by to fast and was awesome. We went through classroom training with Nick and some female coaches. At first its a bit uncomfortable because your out of your comfort zone..But after you just let yourself go you can really learn quite a bit, and I did. During the weekend. The classroom material you cover is mind opening and all practical things you can pick up on and practice pretty easy. Its all interactive so if you have A.D.D like me your should be oka. @ night you hit the town and hit up lots of bars.. In the bars you approach girls using your new skills (not pick up artist bull Shit but real ppl skills now understanding female/male dynamics. Nick is there encouraging you and guiding you through the entire night making sure your doing things right and there when you need him. It was awesome for me because I needed that extra push to force me to go for it. I would say it was as expected but that would be a lie. I didn’t expect woman to respond the way they did, but I was wrong using some of the new skills we learned woman responded differently, I learned how important Eye contact, and listening, reflecting etc etc. things I didn’t think where so important but now I see the effect it has.
Another awesome thing is your with a good group of guys. Everyone’s got the same goals and its great to hear there feedback as well. From the time we all met the first night sitting around the table getting to know each other in the Bar I felt great. Excited to get started and happy I was actually doing this.
It has helped me tremendously, Communicating with woman and ppl in general. I learnt allot that weekend, One thing is for sure the more you work on it the better you get at it.
I really enjoyed working with Nick, Hes an amazing guy. He actually cares and wants you to learn and get good at it. Hes always there encouraging you to push yourself to get what you want and do it. I came up with lots of excuses. I definitely owe him a thank you for opening me up to this and helping me along the way!
– Mdotwinner – 5/24/2012
Coaching Weekend: May 2012: The Experience
Coaching with Nick Sparks and Fran Anderson during a 4 day stay at New York, because there’s no other way to put.
Where to start?
Well, Driving from Montreal to New York I had a great deal of time to wonder if this coaching session would be right for me, whether the weekend would be a success and whether all promises will be met.
Thursday: Had some complications about arriving in the Empire state, but Amy convinced me that the first night really helped to set the tone for what the weekend would give. So I made the necessary arrangements. She also told us to be ready, as the week -end would be life changing. I would’ve liked a better pre-warning for the term “life changing” though, haha because let me tell you….
We all met up and I was surprised to find Fran Anderson standing there amongst the group: Nick, a female instructor and my colleagues for the weekend. I was expecting a smaller group, but right off the bat I felt somehow aware that the weekend was not to be what I was expecting.
Thursday Night: Information was laid down, the curriculum and all formalities, then we hit the town. Being around these guys felt more real, much like good friends hanging out, showing us a thing or two about social interaction, it was never superficial and always very personal and real. They immediately had me hooked to the week end ahead. Nick Fran and Christina made us do some exercises and had me hooked to a “pushing your boundaries” mentality because push our boundaries they did.
When I got back to my hotel I jotted some VERY valuable notes down and tried to rest. After a promising start like that, I slept like a baby.
Friday: First lessons, classroom. A good portion of the day was spent analyzing, learning and working on the initial phase of our transformations. Nick did an amazing job of individually tailoring and revealing our strengths and weaknesses almost as if he had known us for a long time. Though Fran was not there during the day, the two female instructors did an amazing job! After that day, I came out of the classroom with a jewel that I will remember for a long time to come Thanks Christina!
So, between class and the evening, we were all sent home to rest which of course is tough when your anxious to see what will happen. This was my first big challenge. To understand “having your limits pushed” is one thing. But being in the presence of that feeling is an absolute other and I’ll tell you why…
Friday Night: First night out after the lessons. Real rough time. Nick brought us into some tough spots, but he was always there, ensuring that what felt like some of the biggest blow outs I’ve never experienced were inconsequential. Fran definitely helped to keep me motivated as at each pause I took, Fran would have some words that would hit deep into what I was doing. Without a doubt, I was already beginning to feel the wear and tear of my identity by the end of the night. I certainly questioned myself a few times but Nick and Fran were always there proving otherwise. But the real motivator came when seeing the two other guys also push themselves. It definitely kept my spirit moving.
There’s a fine line between the feelings of courageousness and that state of being in courage. Friday Night revealed to me that fine line, a line I never would have seen if Nick and Fran hadn’t been there to show how ridiculously easy it could be. By the end of that night, during the final minutes, my two colleagues looked real beat and I was definitely wanting to collapse. Then with a smile, Nick says “Guys tonight was the toughest night of them all and you survived it!” to which Fran laughs and says, ” Yeah, You guys are going like tomorrow :P”.
I went back to my hotel room, curled up and wondered to myself, “what the fuck”.
Saturday: I wake up, half dazed, feeling good in my head after what Nick and Fran said. I stretch looking forward to a good day.
Classroom sessions = Delicious! Absolutely my favorite day. Nick brings in a third female instructor and we proceed with the final stage of our transformation. There were definitely some VERY awkward moments followed by some very reassuring lessons and excellent material. After the classroom, we all went out for a little day game. We got to see Nick and Fran pull some really great action, it was inspiring, and we all tried some ourselves. We were lucky to be caught in the middle of a street fair, with plenty of beautiful girls all around. I was having a tough time getting it started during this portion of the day, so Fran pulled me over and gave me a straight up explanation of everything I was doing right and wrong and where I should concentrate on improving. It was some REALLY spot on advice I was dying to here. Thanks Fran!
Between the classroom session and the night out, we were given a good amount of time to get some rest and feel refreshed. Unfortunately I spent a small part of that time thinking about what was going to happen. At some point I panicked and reached my final, personal hurdle. I seriously considered getting back in my car and going back home. Was it worth all the trouble? Could I go through with it. What pushed me forward were the echoing words from Nick, Fran, the female instructors and my weekend colleagues. Shit had been tough but with the final pieces of the weekend coming together, tonight was going to be phenomenal.
I took a nap, cold shower and a quick meditational release (Sedona Method) and was out the door a man with a resolve. It was time to do or die trying.
Saturday Night: Fran wasn’t kidding when he said, “guys, remember… SLUTTY SATURDAAAYS! ” Haha, God, it was awesome. I don’t know what to say, I think everyone was feeling it that night. We started off at rendez-vous and headed into the night. First bar we hit, we just spread like a swat team right through the door, BAM BAM BAM! girl here girl there and girls everywhere! Man, it was awesome! We eventually reconvened onto a pretty and big group of girls, had a great time, and then proceeded to meet, greet, flirt and escalate with every possible opportunity at the bar. Then, we were off to the next bar. The second bar went just as well, and normally this particular bar was one we all felt a little uneasy with (My colleagues and I). Always, Nick and Fran somehow cut soul deep with their insights and kept pushing us to the next level. If Friday night was the night where the fine line between feeling courageousness and being courageous was revealed, Saturday night was the night that pushed me way past it.
Never in my life could I have imagined myself walking up to a table of some real cute girls, sit down, wrap my arm around one, introduce myself and watch as they all light up and try to gain my attention!
I would occasionally look to see how the other guys were doing and let me tell you by the end of this program I saw two guys who had changed completely! Technically, they were still the same guys I met on Thursday, only something was different, something that can only be experienced, not explained Over all, Saturday night ended great as we all sat back together listening to Nick’s awesome Braveheart-like speeches that made us feel even better than we were already.
Sunday: Sunday morning, I woke up tired, exhausted both mentally and physically, I wanted some orange juice and something to eat. Fortunately, the ending of this weekend was no where near. We all met up with Nick, for some final words and brunch. Nick, always great, always awesome, starts a romance with the waitress, but never forgetting us, gives us a final “looking forward” type lesson, where we are to go from now. The closure really set the cap on the entire experience because I didn’t feel limited to only this weekend, and I could see it in all of our faces that we were eager to head into the world of tomorrow with our new found identities.
Overall, it was an amazing experience, full of memories and fun. Definitely as Life-Changing as they say, cheesy but true lol. If I could do it again, just for the sheer fun of it, I would. It was a roller coaster of experiences, that once experienced can never be undone and an experience that will enrich your life for a long, long time.
-Niro – 5/21/2012
May Live Coaching – A.K.A. WOW!!!
My experience this past weekend is just about unbelievable. I have read about transformations during coaching before- hoped it was true – but have to admit that, even though I signed up and completely committed myself to the Live Coaching, there was still some skepticism. I just wish that anyone reading this and thinking about Live Coaching could have actually seen what transpired. From Thursday night to Saturday night, a caterpillar shed its cocoon and emerged in a bar in New York City. And it would not have been possible without Nick, Fran and Christine. None of what I am going to say is sensationalized or embellished.
New York is an amazing City and a great stage for this to occur.
The format has been described elsewhere but I will repeat some to describe the transformation. Thursday night, we met with Nick and Christina at a bar in New York. I was excited and nervous and not sure what to expect. I won’t lie, it was a rough night. But major breakthroughs were made because I actually went up and began talking to a number of women. Christina was extremely supportive and really helped me make it through the night. Having her there made it much easier for me to do what I had to do.
But let me tell you guys, I was AWKWARD. No two ways about it. Nick, Fran, Christina and my other two ‘coachees’ will all tell you how awkward and hesitant I looked and how amazing it was to see the difference between Thursday night and Saturday night.
Friday afternoon we had a class on conversation skills and then we actually had conversations with Christina. And she doesn’t pull any punches. She has done this before and she seems to have a great knack for understanding when a guy is doing well with conversation and when not. If you didn’t do well with the skills Nick was teaching, the conversation would stop dead in its tracks. I was nervous doing this because I didn’t think I would be much good at holding conversations. The great thing is, the things they teach you are very simple and you only really need to remember three things in order to put it into good action. I didn’t quite realize it at the time, but this class really got me ready.
Friday night we went back out. Of all nights, this night was really a roller coaster. I hit a low point, but Fran really, REALLY helped me. I am sure I would have been fine in the end, but the things he said to me that night turned me around – it rallied me and the night turned out great.
Saturday’s afternoon class was escalation. It was a good lesson. There were some uncomfortable moments but, in hind site, it is amazing how much this one on one role-playing really helps a guy. For a lot of people, one afternoon of it is all he needs.
But then, Saturday night, everything came together. I am not one for superlatives. I especially try to avoid “that was the best so and so I ever ate” or “that was the best so and so I have ever seen”. But I do believe that I heard some of the best words that ever came out off anyone’s mouth …
Nick said to me at one point, “Just keep doing what you’re doing”!!!! And, a few seconds later, completely out of earshot of Nick (and vice versa), Fran said to me, “Just keep doing what you’re doing”!!! No joke! No exaggeration.
And, what was I doing? I was holding meaningful, FUN conversations with numerous very, very pretty women.
My two ‘wingmen’ were AWESOME guys! I was surprised when I first met them – they didn’t ‘look’ to me like guys who would ‘need’ this coaching. All three of us were very supportive and I feel like we all genuinely liked each other. We also were – each and every one of us – as supportive of one another as we could be when interacting with women. Each of us was truely pulling for the other and I felt like we each had a huge level of mutual respect.
Each of the three of us are HIGH VALUE men who just needed this coaching to get ourselves out of our own way.
And when I say that – I mean each of these guys have something going for them that most guys just don’t have. One of them has a very (VERY) high status job in New York City. And the other is a very young, very athletic-looking guy that is, almost certainly, soon to have woman after woman falling all over him.
Sunday afternoon, Nick and I were at a Juice Cart. Nick had just gotten a juice and I was waiting to get mine. A woman walked up to me and asked me a question. I don’t remember the question and she kind of caught me off guard. Nick said to me, “you realize John, that question she asked you had nothing to do with the question?” Sunday afternoon – after the training, I am standing in Union Square in New York City and women are approaching me …
– To follow up my previous post ….
It is late – I am still not fully recovered – East Coast Time and I have to get up at 5 am – but tonight was Pool League (billiards).
I am two days removed from the conclusion of Live Coaching.
I had decided I was going to give myself a mental and emotional break tonight and just hang out and shoot pool.
Things didn’t quite go that way …. <once again, I am NOT making this up>
At the beginning of the night, I ran across a very cute girl that is a new member of a competing team. And something just ‘happened’. She and I ended up hanging out together the entire evening. I’ll call her A1*. In spite of promising myself a break from ‘trying’, here I was connecting with this really cool, really cute girl and even escalating. But actually I wasn’t trying. It was just happening. I wasn’t nervous, there were no butterflies – it was just natural. I could have pushed it further – I feel like I really needed to hold back because good gosh I JUST got back from training – I’m going to be seeing her every Tuesday night and this stuff is powerful.
But bottom line – two days removed – and yes there was still some lingering doubt on my part that everything would ‘take’ – but here I am feeling smooth as glass in a situation that would have had me completely paniced just two weeks ago!
– Raptor66 – 5/16/2012
April Live Coaching
I attended the April live coaching event in New York with Nick. Bottom line up front, it is an amazing experience and well worth the money.
At first, I was little skeptical because I felt that I was already pretty good with women. I never really had any trouble meeting, dating, or taking home women that I encountered. However, when I came across Social Male, I was intrigued because they seemed to focus on the basic principles of eye contact, body language, and conversation. I always felt routines and gimmicks were good for grabbing attention, but you needed to master these other fundamentals before you could truly master seduction.
Nick Sparks has done just that. His ability to use these fundamentals seems almost instinctual. But he, very honestly, details his past struggles mastering these fundamentals when you meet him. He then goes on to break down the methods he used to get over his past insecurities in the live coaching session. Whether Nick knows it or not, he’s an incredible teacher and mixes a stepped approach with hands on training to ensure you do not get overwhelmed with everything you’re learning. At night, he takes you to a mix of bars that will take you out of your comfort zone and force you to interact. What this experience shows, is that it does not matter where you are. If you use these fundamentals he’s teaching, you’ll grow attraction.
Here are a few details of what to expect when you attend the training:
Day 1: Nick holds a introductory session and then takes you out to some of the bars he uses for the sessions. Before you’re allowed to enter any bar, everyone must complete an exercise to loosen up and prime you to start socializing. The objective of this first night is to approach strangers; as many as you can.
Day 2: You will have a class session where Nick covers the material and objectives for the night’s events. During class, you will also practice with some of the female coaches. That night, Nick will review your objective for the night and then you will once again go out to several bars.
Day 3: You start with a brief class session and more practice with the female coaches. Then Nick will take you out to work on some “day” approaching. This is a great exercise because it shows you the differences in social interaction required to be successful in night and day approaching. At night, Nick again reviews the objectives for the evening and you set out to the bars to work on everything you learned from the past three days. One thing to note, the female coaches accompany you during all sessions, which is a big help to draw advice from.
Day 4: Nick out briefs you on what you learned over brunch (I missed this due to travel arrangements)
One thing that I did not mention earlier is that Nick pays close attention to what your strengths and weaknesses are and tailors the information to best suit your needs. He understands that this program is not a one size fits all and he adapts the program to match your skill level.
Many of you will ask, so what? What was the outcome? As I said earlier, I always felt that I had done well with women. I’ve never had any problems with dating, forming lasting relationships or the quality of women I met. Since I’ve been back, I’ve started dating four women, one of which is a dancer for the Black Eyed Peas (I live in LA). This has actually turned out to be more than I can handle. Not a bad problem to have. In any case, I never would have made this happen if I had not gone to the training, and executed what I learned from Nick.
So once again, if you’re on the fence about coming (as I was) the best advice I can offer to to take the plunge. It was an amazing experience and well worth the money.
– kosborn – 5/6/2012
Fearless – one-on-one training
Back in Germany after an amazing (and exhausting) weekend in NYC, i went through all I experienced back in NYC.
To make it brief: the training has changed some basic things so fundamentally (to positive of course)!
I had the honor and pleasure to get a personal one-on-one trainig with Nick and Adam throughout a whole weekend. First, I was a little bit insecure what would be waiting for me? Another collection of pick-up wisdom? Simple, but not working truths such as ” You only need to be yourself!” ?
Fortunately, this was not the case. In contrast, it began after a short introduction with practical experiences. So I had to show directly what I know so far. And, to be honest, this was not as impressive as I used to thought. ;D In fact, Nick showed some of my fundamental mistakes after some approaches. Using these experiences , we had an extensive theoretical session the next day. This method is a huge advantage as the theoretical knowledge filled right the gaps the practical session had opened the night before.
During the last night i wanted to show that I improved. However, i was way too sleepy and exhausted (had some more rather boring duties in that afternoon, too). But again it was Nick who pushed me in the right direction and it became eventually a really cool night with some really nice approaches, kisses and amazing party in an old warehouse in Brooklyn (where / what the hell was that?? )
The next day comprised a wrap-up and even a day game session. Although being quite tired due to the previous night, it was cool to see what it is like to talk to unknown women in random book stores.I was told that some hotties were among them, but i did not notice that in that very moment ;D
Regarding the tools I have been taught, I must admit that it was none of the pick-up voodoo but some well-tested practical things which are so natural that I had no issues with putting these things in practice. And even better, you do not have to overload your brain with sophisticated openers, NLP language or stuff like that that, in the front line, one certainly forgets…
So, my only concern is that I will carry on and improve my newly skills back in Germany. Let’s see. The fundamentals, though, are now laid
– Water80 – 4/6/2012
Live Coaching (Feb 2012)
I cannot put into words how inspired I am after taking this program. Prior to the weekend, I felt uncomfortable in a number of social situations. If I did approach a girl, I was always trying to think of something clever or funny. Not only did this limit the number of girls that I approached, but it also made me feel social pressure to be funny and witty. Another common move of mine was to tell myself that I would wait until I saw that really hot girl and then I’d approach her. By the time I saw her, I was so in my head that I rarely approached. Now, I’m not so concerned with any of those things. Yea I might be a little nervous w/ the very first person that I interact with, but I end up talking to people in any situation – in the grocery, at the coffee shop, on my way to the bar, at the bar, whatever. It’s becoming second-nature at this point. Sometimes I get positive reactions, and sometimes I get negative ones. But Nick isn’t lying when he tells you that if you continue to take action, the positive experiences will outweigh the negative ones.
It’s also not just about approaching strangers, it’s about connecting with everyone at a much deeper level. My interactions have become so much more meaningful because I’m not carrying around a ton of mental baggage with me. It’s funny because in the past, I used to think about my next comment while the other person was talking, like I was waiting for my chance to shine. Now I take pride in the fact that I’m a great listener, and that I can get people really engaged and excited to interact with me. And actually listening to the other person speak and putting yourself in their shoes as they tell their story gives you WAY more material to touch on when you finally do respond. So at the end of the day, it’s not only easier to keep a conversation exciting and fun, but the connection is also much stronger.
Another mind-blowing aspect of the program for me (and maybe the most important, personally) was the sexuality that Nick teaches. Prior to the program, I definitely struggled with this. I didn’t really realize that it was an issue until Nick and Christina made some observations about my interactions, and it was like a light-bulb went off. Nick taught us TONS of amazing ways to take an interaction sexual that I never thought were possible before the program. Even more importantly, I feel comfortable doing them. What I used to think was awkward and weird is now normal.
I’m a month removed from the program, and my progress has been phenomenal. To be completely honest, I worried a lot when I first got home from the program. I worried that I wouldn’t take the actions necessary to improve and that I might regress. But I want to emphasize that approaching and getting sexual with girls is not all I took away from this program. The overarching mindset of being a man and taking action to get the things you want in life has been motivating and life-changing for me. Taking this program gave me the desire to become a better person. And when you have that mindset, there’s no need to worry about not improving, because you’re going to. You want it so bad that you will go out and get it. And if that’s not reason enough, you have some new friends from the weekend that will make sure you’re pushing yourself. So, if you’re thinking about taking the program – do it! Girls everywhere will thank you .
– nchamp – 3/25/2012
Live Coaching Feb 2012 – TESTIMONIAL
Alright I’ve been putting this off for a few reasons. The main reason is that I just started a masters program in March so I’m busy as all hell. The other reasons though are that a) I wanted my review to actually do justice to what I experienced; and b) I was also curious as to how much the teaching would stick, and I wanted a sense of that before posting a review as well.
When I first got back from the trip to NYC, I was worried that my progress wouldn’t stick and that without Nick and Christina around to push me I’d settle back into old habits. At the 1-month mark I’m happy to say that it didn’t turn out that way at all. I’m 3 weeks into an MBA program in a college town, and my biggest problem now is trying to tone it down so I don’t develop a reputation!
The behaviors stuck. At first I had to try extra hard to push myself. It was as if Nick and Christina were my social superego (google superego if you’re not familiar with the Freudian term) inside my head. It was uncomfortable, but I recognized the purpose of the exercises Nick had us do as a way to train your social muscles (i.e. throwing words, talking to the first girl you see in the bar no matter what you say, dropping hooks).
The real pivot point is your own willingness to repeatedly take the plunge, until it’s no longer a plunge. Not just with the decision to go to live coaching, but all the little decisions to keep applying the methods once you return home. During the live coaching session Nick was always saying that we had to trust him and that if we just did what he said, eventually you’d get enough positive responses that it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable anymore. He was absolutely right. It’s actually kind of amazing how quickly you’ll adopt a behavior once you’ve had some success with it.
Before I went to live coaching I was already doing fairly well with women, but not as well as I had liked. My biggest sticking point was that I was still afraid of rejection, so despite having some game I:
– could never pick up at a bar
– had problems building attraction from a first impression
– even when I had attraction going, I’d have problems with escalation like going for the touch or kiss
Live Coaching with Nick definitely helped me iron out those wrinkles. Nick does an incredible job of changing your attitude about how women think and what they want. I have no problem going in for the kiss anymore. I own my desire for a woman and I have no problem communicating it, and just like Nick said, they love it.
All in all, I give the experience a 10/10. As long as you are willing to do the work (and are not just throwing money at a problem), you will get a lot out of it and it is well worth every. single. penny.
– rzm83 – 3/25/2012
What I experienced and learned that weekend was priceless. Life has been great since. Night three was crazy crazy fun fun lol. Its been almost a month now and not only have I met some incredible girls but some very interesting people as well. I am not afraid anymore of walking up to anyone and just start a conversation.
Nick you are f****ing awesome!!! Thank you Thank you Thank you.
– Prime369 – 2/10/2012
My Personal Experience 1/19 – 1/22
The weekend workshop was a defining moment in my life. Don’t think twice about doing this.
What I really respect about Nick and the other coaches is that they really care about their product. I dare you to find a more user friendly, well structured, professional service in this industry. You can see this on their site, their digital products, and most importantly in their live coaching.
I opted to do the live coaching after seeing a couple of the videos because I wanted the extra push and personal attention of a coach who could see exactly what I’m doing. It can be hard to spot your own mistakes or bad habits that have become muscle memory. Totally my opinion…but it’s a nearly impossible task to go out, practice, analyze what you’re doing, figure out what is going to make the biggest difference, and maintain a dynamic conversation with a woman all by yourself.
Over the course of the 3 nights, Nick will very clearly outline interacting with women from the moment you see her to the moment you’re making out with her. It’s not rocket science and it’s never supposed to be. There really are clear things that get women’s attention and also make it extremely clear and fun for her to discover what’s happening. This clarity is a theme for me personally because I don’t think I’ve ever been clear to women my entire life.
My favorite part of the weekend was definitely night 3 when we kicked things into high gear on the physical side of the interaction. What we did was tastefully sexual and I’m not surprised why the responses were so positive. There’s a reason why women go out to bars and a reason why they can’t wait to tell their girlfriends a fabulous story about the guy they met. There are certain ways to express your desire and Nick will unload a hefty amount of his playbook here of which you can add to your own. Kudos Nick. If you’ve ever overheard girls talk about chemistry, you’ll see why night 3 is chemistry night.
The ultimate achievement for me from this workshop was calibration and self-awareness. I know exactly what women are responding to, what things I could do to stimulate the interaction, and most importantly how to do it over and over and over again. What I learned at this workshop is amazing and I would do it again. It’s a life skill that doesn’t get enough credit. It’s true that many of us go through life without having to be experts at this skill. But guess what…I don’t want to be one of those guys. I want to be the guy that she brags about to all of her girlfriends.
BIG thank you to Nick. You guys are changing lives.
– doublelphillip – 02/06/2012
Live Coaching: New York, 12/8-12/11
Hey fellas, been a while since I posted here. But last weekend I was in New York with a few really awesome people, and frankly it was the best 4-day vacation I have ever had.
Let me bottom line it for you: the program blew me away. They definitely crammed a lot of stuff into a short period, and I was pretty exhausted by the end of it, leading do a crash of epic proportions on the train ride back to my lair in Washington DC.
The program focuses on different things all three nights you’re out (Thurs, Fri, Sat) and it is very refined. I was there with Eric aka escaperealitey (his post on this weekend is already up), with whom I split a room in Brooklyn, leading to a long commute but also to a couple of especially entertaining moments during the trips to/from Manhattan.
The coaching was nothing short of fantastic, because bottom line Nick just pushes you until you’re uncomfortable… then pushes you some more. This leads to a couple of awkward moments, but is also the fastest way to make improvement. In my case, there were a couple of issues specific to me that Nick helped me work out.
The day sessions are actually the hardest part. Christina was definitely very helpful in pushing me to improve as well, but frankly it felt manufactured at times, because, well… we weren’t actually out. Having said that, I think the classroom sessions were very helpful because once we actually got to the bars I had already gotten over my biggest issues. So once you get past the fact that the classroom sessions can feel awkward/embarassing, if you think about it, that’s actually where you make the most improvement because that was where you were most uncomfortable.
Once you’re out on the town, particularly on Friday and Saturday night, it is go time. See a few girls hanging out by themselves? Go talk to them! Some will blow you out, sure, including the one girl who might give you a ball-shrinking stare (ask Nick about this, that was a hilarious moment), but you’ll find just as many if not more who are out to talk to guys!
Example: Saturday night I walked up to a group of girls, said “hey guys hows it going?” and introduced myself. As soon as I had finished introductions, one of the girls looked at me and said, “did you really just walk out of a room and walk straight up to us to say hi?” I was like, “um, yeah, why?”
Basically I acted like it was the most natural thing in the world, leaving this girl completely blubbering and struggling to keep up with me for the next 2-3 minutes. Adorable! But for purposes of guys reading this post, it shows you the kind of powerful confidence this program gives you, along with the tools to capitalize on that powerful confidence: this girl was absolutely stunned that I had the balls to do what I was doing. I almost ended up making out with her (dammit, she was so cute) but I think I screwed something up toward the end of the interaction. Shit happens. But again, the main point is that I would never have gotten to that point — rapid, rapid escalation — without the program teaching me how to do it.
I haven’t actually gone out since last weekend, though I am planning on doing so tonight, but I’m much more comfortable with the very idea of going out to a bar, something I’ve never been able to say before, so I’m looking forward to this evening.
Thanks to Nick and Christina for putting on such a great program, and thanks to Eric for being my partner in crime for the weekend (lets just hope we don’t get locked up by that sexy assistant DA we talked to Saturday night, my man).
If there are any longtime denizens of the forum who are worried about whether a live coaching trip will help you out, I assure you it will. That was my fear for a long time, and I got a ton out of the weekend.
Rock on fellas!
– Brendan – 12/17/2011
Coaching Session in New York 12/8-12/11
What a great experience. I have to say that I definitely left with more than I expected I would. Nick was one hell of a great teacher and provided plenty of support.
Lets just say if you didn’t know how to swim and wanted to learn, he’d be a great lifeguard and wouldn’t let you swim in shark infested water until he knew you could swim in a pool first.
From the approach to the close, I have definitely left almost being able to see the matrix. I know that I’ve barely pinched the taint of this whole social interactions thing and that there’s a lot more to it. But I will seriously look forward to anything else that Nick has to teach.
PS: If you do this, definitely split a room, it makes it THAT much better.
– escapereality – 12/12/2011
Live Coaching November 10th-13th
This weekend turned out to be a game changer for me. I came in with mixed expectations, not quite sure what to expect and nervous about pushing past my boundaries.
Cardiffgiant already posted an awesome rundown of the weekend so I won’t bore people with another. However I do want to say how amazing Nick Sparks is. He is the type of guy that can make anyone feel comfortable and special at the same time. He is everything that people say about him on the forums and a little bit more no homo lol. It was awesome going out with Nick and seeing him in action and also to have him there the whole time, pushing us when we needed to be pushed and encouraged when we needed to be encouraged.
This is the place to be for guys that are looking to get better with woman for the right reasons. I recommend live coaching to anyone that has issues approaching and the classic “I don’t know what to say”! They will give you the tools, and its up to you to be a man and implement it and to push yourself.
Special thanks to Christina and Marlena for helping with the drills. Your presence and your advice was invaluable.
I left after the weekend with a sense of enlightenment and looking forward to the future more then I have in a while. Definitely well worth it!!
– raptor79 – 11/21/2011
Live Training November 10th-13th
It’s no Hyperbole when I say I had the time of my life this weekend. All the coaches and other students were extremly positive and helpful towards each other. No one was allowed to get too down on themselves without being picked up by a coach or fellow student.
Nick ‘MF’ing’ Sparks What can I say about this guy that hasn’t already been said? This guy is the real deal, I was impressed the whole weekend by his attitude and patience.
Adam The Mysterious Adam, his mind always seemed to be somewhere else but when he was on he was on. Wish I could have spent more time picking his brain because he seemed to have a lot of wisdom to give.
Christina AKA the sweetheart. It was nice having a female perspective around to help us get into the mind of the fairer sex.
The Program -I’m just going to give an outline of each day, there was a lot more that went on, and to give it justice it would take days for me to write. And I’m too busy dropping hooks and giving warm goodbyes.
We all meet at a deli, to eat and talk about what we will be doing this weekend. When we go out tonight we will be focusing on Approching, that’s it.Nick gave us a few easy but essential tips on approacing and we were off. I think everyone in the group suffered from some level of AA so this night helped us all get over that. I know I’ve always had trouble approaching woman and after Thursday I didn’t have any trouble approaching for the rest of the weekend.
Our first classroom session centers around Conversation skills, and being the man in the conversation. Nick teaches us sparks to keep the conversation going and buffers to let the ladies know we care and are listening. This shit is so simple and easy to learn. Thursday night I could barely keep a conversation going for a couple minutes, by Friday night I was having great conversations with every girl I met. THIS STUFF REALLY WORKS! At the end of the session we all got up infront of the class and spit our game to the lovely Christina and Marlena, Nick was awesome picking our game apart. I think everyone was nervous going up there, but everyone was so positive and helpful that a good time was had by all. I think everyone improved from Thursday to Friday night. Every bar we went to we pretty much ran dat shit.
Escalation. It was a little akward but, Nick gave us some gold on Saturday. I still need to work on it but it was amazing how quickly some of the guys picked up on it. Let’s just say on Saturday night there was a lot of crotch rubbing and hand flirting. (A little Day game was mixed in at Union square and Barnes and Noble.)
Met for Brunch to go over the weekend and talked about the future. I may have or may not have cried. Some guys even stayed Sunday night to continue to work on their game, wish I could have, cuz those guys were great to hang with.
Like I said, this is just a taste of what went on and what we learned during the weekend. If anyone has any questions or is wondering if this experience is right for them hit me up, I’d be glad to help.
– cardiffgiant – 11/15/2011
A little about myself, i was always a shy person. If i went to a Friend’s bbq or a parties. I would be the one staying in the corner or leaning against the wall. When it comes to women, i was always in the friends zone, never knew what to do sexually. How to make a women sexually attracted. There where countless time where i missed out on big opportunity and my mind doesn’t let me forget it. I got unbreakable but there was something still missing. This was a Really important to get over so i can move forward with my life.
All the coaches where great!
Nick: Nick is A Great teacher! Teaches with Knowledge and makes it fun and exciting. He really Cares about his students and it passionate about making guys “be better”
Jonathan: This guy is so Smooth! With his words and tone, it seems like he’s trying to pick you up when he’s talking. He started it all, so this guy has a vast amount of knowledge. A great guy and very nice. Has a lot to share about Really, Really connecting with a woman.
Sunney: I love Sunney! I want to be like him when i grow up! This guy is really smart and a great teacher. But he is Truly the ” lead by example ” teacher. He’s a Beast. Every word Sunney said, i treated it like it was a million dollar. I wish to be as GREAT as Sunney in the future, that’s my goal.
Danny: Danny is a Smooth guy! He is great with body language alone, His eyes and non verbal was an inspirational to me. He’s a great listener, Great wingman and he always want to get the ball rolling. He is Great at using the body to get the girl.
Carolyn: WOW, She is SO Hot! Not just because her looks, her Luscious Lips, Sexy Smile, and Gorgeous Eyes! OMG, those eyes i would do anything for. She’s funny and Truly a Great Gal. Her insight about the girls’ perspective was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute with her and her presence makes me want to be better. I will be looking for a girl like her, she has a great Heart and is REALLY Amazing.
Brian: Brian is a solid guy. He has so much knowledge through experiencea and his education. When he speak, it shows his confidence and tells alot about the verbal knowledge. He is a great observer, and know the psychology part of a human being. A great, strong leader.
Coaches’ group vibe. I love the way they treat each other! They show so much respect and a lot of support for one another. I was so blown away on how a group works so well together. This is something i Really want in my life. Everybody was on the same page, have the same goal, and know what to say to lift someone’s spirit up. It shows how “give love” was jonathan top 4 social man statutes. Each and eveyone one of the coaches seem to Love being around each other. Awesome group dynamic!!
Thursday: The weekend kicked off with a classroom session. Meeting Nick for the first time was exciting cus i’ve seen him on the internet and it’s kinda like a famous person to me. We learned the Core Knowledge behind the whole program. It was the Fearless Method! With everything going on in my mind, i still had a little doubt about things. We had a Night class where we met Sunney and Danny. There was SO MUCH knowledge about girls, approaching, awareness, body language, that my mind seemed fried up. I tried to Listen so hard becus i didn’t want to miss anything at all.
So we went out, our goal was just to drop 10 hooks for the night and that’s all for the students. First place was fun, i hit like 3 with the hooks and one on a guy(I don’t know if that counts). It wasn’t much of a rapport and getting to know the person, just hooks. The coaches were very supportive of everything we did, saying this was good, that was good, the feedback was helpful.
We then got to the second bar. This was the place where i saw a lot of issue i need to work on. I drop a hook on one girl and it seems to go well, she was nice and willing to chat but then she wanted to get a table with her friend. Nick told me to follow her but I felt awkward and it might seem needy, so i didn’t. Sunney was talking to a girl within a group and Nick told me to go introduce myself to them. This was hard, i was seeing the group and was thinking “HELL NO.” I told Nick i Can’t do it. So he show me how it was done, he failed too but there was a lesson in it.
The coaches saw a Blonde girl who was just siting, looking around. I drop the hook and we talked, she was cute and my rapport was all over the place, didn’t seem to make any connection so i said it was nice to meet you. We left and I saw Sunney approach the same blonde girl. It only took, like 10 minutes and this girl was all into Sunney. So, i thought to myself, “What the Hell does he know.” I was so Curious at this point, and from this point on, I knew this program had something i Wanted and i better listen up. I had more faith into this program and my doubts were all gone!
The next place had a bigger dance floor and louder music. I drop a hook on girl with big, fluffy, curly hair. It was kinda hard becus she wasn’t form the U.S. so i left. One of the Coaches ask, what about her friend, so i went back and this girl was much cooler, the vibe was better. The night was coming to an end so i was just relaxing, dancing a little, let loose a bit.
The last place was so different. It was so weird how lighting and softer music can fuck up your vibe. I was actually nervous because the place was totally different. One of my roommate try to get me to approach two girls talking, I didn’t want to do it. He was pushing and pushing it and i litterly ran into them. They seemed frustrated about it. Danny then told me to open up to another two girls by using “yall seem to be talking about something interesting, what are yall talking about.” I Fuck this one up, I stutter so bad, and was so embrassess, i couldn’t say anything else after that. Then, Danny told me to do that same thing with the first two girls(the one i litterly ran into) I was like “OH SHIT” this isn’t gonna go well. But i told myself that i will do whatever the coaches say without hestitation. Fuck, I was right, I said the same thing and she replied “None of your business” OUCH, it kinda got to me a little bit.
Lesson Learned: This was the first night so i had so much on my mind. All the Knowledge of Fearless, details from the coaches, worrying about fucking up, not doing as good as i wanted, comparing myself to the coaches, there was so much shit going on in my head that I forgot to be me. I was trying too hard to be like the coaches, trying to be perfect, thinking to damn much that i wasn’t comfortable around the girls and i saw it myself after the night was done. The coaches said girls can read alot from your body language and your approaches, and they can sense the confidence or lack of. This day was a crash course on how the weekend was going to be like. The more you’re aware of yourself and the girls, the more the coaches can help you and the more you can help yourself. AWARENESS in one word!
Friday: For me, Friday started real early. I couldn’t sleep much so i stay up and wrote down everything i thought i was doing wrong and address it in class the next day. Afternoon class was really fun, we did improv. Acting out in front of the class was scary but it was Really fun. The class teaches you that if you act one way(lets say wimpy) then you always can act the other way(brave). Your mind makes up all these rules for no reason at all.
At night class we work with the Beautiful, Carolyn, for the first time ever. This class was even harder than the afternoon class because we had two more coaches and Carolyn observing everything we did. For me, i knew i was too tense and started drinking a little earlier than usual. This class pratice the approaching and rapport part with an actual girl. It help ease alot of nerves and warmed me up for the night.
Coach Nick mention how hard friday was, that girls are not going to be open that much. The first club was a little slow, I started dropin hooks and not much came of it. Tiny smiles and not much rapport on the girls part. There was this one girl, she was giving me the eye, I said Hi to and then she started busting out laughing. Coach try to comfort me because they thought she was being a real bitch and gave me a real negative response. This wasn’t the case, one of her friend told me 10 seconds later that she had “Farted.” I think it got to the point where it was real embrassing because all the students and the coaches were around me and I think she knew that all the guys knew about the Farting.
There weren’t alot of girls out to begin with so it was hard. The next bar, I was all over the place with hooks and rapports. It started to get to point that when there was a girl alone, i would drop a hook instantly. The reaction just came natural to do so because we work on it so much. There was alot of hooks and small time talking. We just learned rapport and how to get the girl to talk more and that’s what i was working on. There was this girl by the bathroom who seems into me but I’ve not learn escalating yet. I wasn’t sure what to do after a connection and then after a while she wanted to get back to her friends. The night was all the same but it was still fun because girls were involved. I saw coach Sunney make out with a tall, skinny, hot girl in front of alot of people. It was so awesome watching this guy work on this girl. I was trying not to stare much but how was i suppose to learn. This is something I wanted to do before i get any older. I want the wildside of me to come out and then i will grow up.
Saturday: Since it was Saturday, I try to stay in the zone from yesterday. It was the last day and I didn’t know what to feel. We did the classroom session about escalating. This one is tuff! At night we had an emotion session, it tears me up when people don’t think they’re not good enough. I felt the same way. It was emotional! After we got the sexy eye contact down, I have to say eye contact is very POWERFUL. I never looked deep into a girl’s eyes like Carolyn. I got very nervous, funny feeling, that i never felt before. I wanted more but i had to pull away. I was overwhelmed by it all. It must be Carolyn’s BEAUTIFUL Eyes.
Saturday, I felt better then Friday. I knew what i was doing wrong. I had a better sense of body language, verbal and everything needed to get the kiss. I took a shot of patron and off i went. Nick was like, let’s drop some hooks, let’s go go go. So i did it just to anybody to get in the mood. I found a girl that i was working on with verbal and mirroring the body. It was a friendly chat, no attracton at all. She was really nice and we talked for 20 minutes. After her, i was all over the place, i drop hooks like crazy and try to have fun no matter what. I was feeling fearless cus i worked on a lot of girls. There was this one girl i was totally digging, exactly my type but she wasn’t into talking much. Sunney, some of the coaches, and I all tried to approach her and nothing happened. It was still early though, it was something that i expected.
I saw Nick hit on these two gorgeous girls, so i came in and work on one girl. While i was getting to know my girl, i peeked at the other one, i watch the body language and eye contact and it seems like she was feeling me. So i said hello and started telling her how i felt. I was over complimenting her and she started to blush. This girl i would of came back at the end of the Night and try to get a kiss from. But five minutes later, we left and i said my good byes to her. The feeling of fearless and hot girls on my mind, I felt FREE, I felt that is was OK to be me, I felt like I was in Control of my life for the first time. Great Feeling!
The Next Club, I was all over the place. I worked on so many girls. I got a cute one to laugh for almost a whole minute, it was weird but funny. I had a chance to kiss a girl but kinda chicken out, she was very cute but i was never in that situation before. She later caught me talking to another girl and said “good luck with that” to me. I saw a little jealousy, awesome. I met a married women and she was all over me at the start. She said to me, “you can have any women you want” and my reply “but i want you.” After that she was hugging me and touch me but then she told me she was married. It was fun, she was very attractive and cool. I probably talk to 10 girls, drop hooks on 15 girls. I told a coach that, girls were running out to approach. It was FUN as HELL.
I miss what Coach Sunney was doing. I should of been there! It would of been a HUGH visional inspiration. Well, i saw him make out with a cute girl, while 10 people was just staring with amusement. What i didn’t see was that he hit a HOME RUN while i wasn’t around. That’s why he’s my HERO. It really amaze me, what could happen if i JUST GO FOR IT.
Lesson Learned: Everybody always say, you need confidence, you need confidence only to get girls. I guess it wasn’t that easy because i would of had it already. I always thought it would be one thing to learn to get confident. For me i saw that it was alot of stuff put together for me. Learning to let loose, Not giving a Fuck about people’s thoughts, Not letting one girl or thing get to me, that my mind is not always on my side, handling rejecting well by saying she’s not ready, knowing the steps to approaching a women, being myself and carefree of other thoughts, and there’s so much more i can say. I Guess i Learned CONFINDENCE this weekend at boot camp, to make it short.
Sunday: This day was day game. To me i was feeling Fearless from what happen yesterday but for some reason i got a little nervous. It was a new way of doing things. I knew i had to push through. The first two didn’t go well, one girl was too shy, she didn’t say much and walk away. The next girl, I fumble so bad, my mind went blank. I apologize to her and she said it was “ok”.
Then this girl Sunney wanted me to use his line with. Wow, it worked, this girl was very nice, and i was so comfortable after, like 3 minutes. We talked about Art, New York, and stuff. I was eye contacting like crazy and her body language was insync with mine. It was going really well. After 20 minutes, I tried to close it. I said, we should see the museum together some time. She reply “I have a boyfriend” and my instance reaction was “why didn’t you tell me.” It was funny, she keep talking and i decided to end it after a little more chatting.
My next girl I chatted for a while about Italian food, it was like a 5 miunte friendly chat, not that much attraction. But the last girl, i saw her earlier downstairs and thats what i use as an opener. “I saw you earlier downstairs and i thought you are cute” is what the opener was, at first she seems surprise and shy. Everything i ask, she was replying “I don’t know.” I keep with it and she open up after awhile. We flirted, talked about art, laughed, we had a little connection and i could of ask for her number but i was just happy how things turn out when your confident about yourself. We talked so long , i forgot to give her my name. I got her name at the last minute. It was very fun, very!
Lesson Learned: My first thoughts about day game was, I’m not gonna like this. But i was totally wrong! I really had fun with the girls and i felt more confidence because i knew girls don’t get approach that much during that day. Each one of them seem surprise. I like it also because it seems like the girls were more genuine. During the day it felt like your putting everything out there, your looks, personality, your confidence, fears, and so much more. It’s like take it or leave it and you can get a good reading about how the girl is feeling you. Over all, i like it alot!
My OverAll Take on the Program: I LOVE it! I talked to so many girls, all different type, and it was So Much FUN! At first i really didn’t know what i was missing, what i need to learn to be better with women, but after the program i got what i need. It was a solid blueprint of moving from dropin hooks to escalating, the process of getting to know the girl. Everything in between is up to me and all i have to add is my own personality. I’ve read all of this online but there’s something about human interaction that was needed. I’ve seen how a big loving, support group can get you better, and how they will not let you break into bad habits again. We as people are going to need each other because you’re never gonna learn everything yourself. If you want to succeed in anything, make sure the people around you feel the same.
I’ve learned that my mind gets in my way and all i have to do is say Fuck you, Brain. You can help me by going away for now. It seems like your mind is the biggest enemy of all. All the self doubt, the feeling of never being good enough and so much shit your brain tells you, can hold you back from being Great. It’s never to late to work with your mind and changing the way it thinks. Alot of coaches came to the point where they said Fuck it! Meaning Fuck what happens, fuck it if i fail, fuck if I get rejected, fuck it if the girl don’t like me, fuck all the negativity, fuck it all if it’s against me. I know what they mean now. Half way in my weekend, i clear my mind and everything was like, FUCK it all. It help the most so i can be FREE to do what i Wish at any moment.
When it comes to girls, talking to girls is very easy when your comfortable with yourself. I guess you have to be OK with yourself and everything else would be golden. It was just extremely fun talking to the girls, i didn’t have to kiss or sleep with them to enjoy it. The interaction and the journey up to the kiss was really exciting, it was a new adventure with each girl. Sometime the not so hot girls are more attractive then the really hot one. It got to point where the hot girls don’t say much, it got boring and wasn’t much fun. There so much more to girls then Looks. There’s so much to learn about girls and so much interesting things that each girl can give. Now, i’m intrigue everytime before approaching a women. Girls are like us, they still have their doubts and insecurities and when she says no, or rejected you, it’s all on her. It’s her, not you.
My reason to do the program was to get better with women, but it seems like god was pointing me towards this one. So one night after going out, and not getting any result, i remember that I owned Joel Osteen a “Leap of Faith.” I wented to see Joel Osteen, in the past and he was preaching in this huge stadium and at one point he told me to stand up with him and take a “Leap of Faith” with him. I couldn’t do it, i just couldn’t stand up and i told myself that i own him a Leap of Faith, one day. I used this to make my final decision to go to the program because being good with women was taking up all my thoughts, all day long. I had to over come it. Looking back, I’m very happy that i gave the program my “Leap of Faith.” I see so much potential the program has given me.
– disbhyper – 2/23/2011
A self-indulgent reflection on player-dom
[I took live training with Nick in October of ’10. Wrote this up as a private blog post at first, but decided it might be worth posting here instead.]
There’s a point where telling the truth begins to sound like bragging. Where I feel my roommate’s envy as I return from walking another girl out to an awaiting cab. Where I find myself sheepishly denying facts after chatting up a girl at night. “Naw man, she was just being friendly…”
I have a todo list on my phone to keep track of girls in rotation. And a codified system in my contacts for filtering by level of intimacy (hint: use the “company” field).
Despite all the evidence, I still have a hard time accepting it.
A player? Me? No, no, you got me all wrong.
Perhaps this is because this lifestyle is still fresh and new. Soon, it will become part of what I expect out of myself, like being able to run X miles or do Y pushups. And then there will be new heights to be reached. Perhaps it’s because I don’t have anyone to share the news with – not wanting to seem like a pompous dick to family and friends. You, anonymous internet, are the only one who I will ever admit this to.
But for now, I feel like I’ve pulled off a tremendous heist – sitting here in my hideout, counting all the loot. I remind myself to stay humble and hungry, but a part of me feels like singing at the top of my lungs.
I vaguely remember what it felt like to struggle. To feel lost in a party, clutching a red solo cup, wishing I could just go home. How long ago was that? Seems like a lifetime.
But there’s no point in indulging in the past. And there’s no point in denying the present. I have become a player – and an especially covert one at that.** This, as they say, is only the beginning.
– Ethan – 5/17/2011
A NYC Weekend Replete with Photobooths and Pterodactyls
I took a program with Nick and the other coaches 30 days ago. I just got back home tonight with a few numbers from some cute girls and for tonight, the important aspect is that I took the action I was taught during the program to go up to these girls, talk with them and then eventually, go for the number. I’ll know later today which are legit/work out and which flake, but for now, I still consider the actions and boldness taken, up until the number exchange, as reflections of the program’s result. A changed mindset and an improved me. (sounds cheesy, but hey, most good things in life do!)
Aight, now I’ll go back to the beginning and describe the days…
When I got to the studio with my partner-in-crime for the weekend, we became acquainted with Nick and then went over the 6 steps of Fearless. It was all really useful and succinct – a bit different from the Fearless seminar in NYC in the winter, and additionally, the repetition was really helpful b/c of how essential these are to a guy’s pick up progress and success. We then broke until evening when we met at Jon’s place, had some mixed music goin on (Dave Mathews included of course) and we practiced what Nick taught us earlier, but now LIVE with some of the female instructors, Jodie and Marina. Yes, this felt really strange and awkward at first, like practicing a speech in front of a mirror…but then, it got better, we got better and looser, and in the end, I felt it really did help. So if you do a program in the future and get weirded out here, just go with it, haha. Just getting feedback and KNOWING what it FEELS LIKE when you’re loose and comfortable – and what it should feel like from a calibration standpoint – begins to alter your frame of reference. For me, throughout the weekend, one main objective was staying in the moment and just going with it, rather than being in my head. (Easier said than done, true, but definitely got better over the weekend.)
Later that night, we went out with Nick and Evan. The night was really fun and I must say, the program may be worth it just to experience Nick’s multiple “Spartacus-meets-Braveheart-worthy” inspiring speeches about our growth, our lives and women. Also, Nick kept us on our feet and always kept the party goin – no matter what the deal was at the bar! ☺ Got some convos and numbers in, and it was a really solid night.
We met up with Nick in the early afternoon and the best thing about walking in this time, was that the coaches and I already knew what my biggest hang ups were, including slowing down, pause…buffering (or as Adam calls it, “just shutting up” ☺), leaning back and some other things, which all connote neediness. I worked on those aspects essentially until the end of the weekend, though adding in some escalation tips and whatnot once we got those under our belts.
Friday night we had some more female coaching but now they unpacked the big guns – we had 6 coaches come out with us, all of whom also helped criticize (constructively, of course) our approaches/interactions with the female coaches, and Jon was there for the commenting session too. This night was also a good learning experience, I got to feel a bit of the “pull back” and the girl’s chase Nick wanted me to really work on, and it was just a blast to be around Sunney, Danny, Nick, Adam, Jon and Brian. Oh, and just to mention, the coaches all stayed out past 2am, the official cut off time every night, so I wanna give em props for their dedication love you guys.
You’d think by Saturday, the 4-5 hours of sleep a night would get to me…but it hadn’t. I just stayed pumped b/c the weekend wasn’t as daunting as it was inspiring and enjoyable. Today we went over escalation, with Nick leading and other coaches piping in with their own tips here and there. All of it came together really nicely and was incredibly informative. I mean, you can read some of this in the TSM programs, but there’s definitely some stuff you have to experience in person. For example, when Nick puts out all his mojo to “demonstrate” his sexual powers on you…all I’ll say is it’s super powerful lol. And also, of course, you get to ask them any and all q’s you have so that comes in handy.
Sat night was probably one of the loosest and more productive nights for me in terms of all the info coming together, working cohesively, as well as just the amount of risks I took. In retrospect, I potentially could have taken even more, but really, I’m proud of the progress I made and the amount of work, risks and rejections (1 half face slap…but she misunderstood/was drunk and it’s just funny story, honest …) I put in. Of course, all the coaches and the other guy on the program all helped me with that progress, so I thank all of them immensely for this weekend and their time
This was brunch (with any q’s we had) + day game. Danny was great in helping us with the day game – kinda his thang – and really we had the opportunity to ask him anything we wanted. We did some exercises, some approaches, and some wrap-up talks about the weekend and our futures. Danny actually wouldn’t leave until WE were ready to throw in the towel for the day, going as long as we wanted. Alas, I had a prior-engagement with a friend in the early evening so I bid Danny and my “teammate” farewell and off I disappeared into the dark depths of the NYC subway system.
For anyone wondering, yes, I did get numbers and I did get a makeout over the weekend, and I could have taken things further, but I’m not talking about that because that is not what was most important to me from my expectations before the program. It’s also not what I felt were part of the most crucial breakthroughs during the weekend. The coaches know their stuff and can hook you up with girls if that’s what you want, but for me, I wanted to, as Nick might put it, be “taught how to fish rather than be given a bunch of fish.” And by fishing, I mean connecting with and dating high quality girls.
Awareness – I’ve definitely felt more awareness in the weeks since the program. I took the awareness factor for granted before the program. I thought I had a pretty good self-awareness and I could tell if a girl was interested in me or not. But truthfully, I have an infinitely better understanding now. For example, I was moving out of my dorm with my sister, and this cute girl walked into the elevator. She had earplugs in and I asked her if she’s moved out yet. She said she doesn’t live in the dorm, and I just didn’t feel like continuing the convo since I was with my sister and whatever, so I stop talking. Then she continued talking about moving out Freshman year (reinitiating convo) afterwards and I would not have understood before the program that clearly she liked me because of this action/continued convo even though I didn’t encourage it. Very powerful feeling to recognize small things like this immediately and know that I could have taken this to a date the next day if I wanted.
Another example has to do with my friend and she revealed a lot of deeper info with me that night after the program ended on Sunday, and it was due mainly to the Fearless principles I implemented that night when we hung out – eye contact, mirroring, pulling back, deeper and more touching. Of course, Looseness too which is related to all of this. I feel like suddenly I have a lot more control over my relationships and new interactions than I did before and I really love the guys and gals responsible for opening my eyes to this.
Nick, Jon, Sunny, Danny, Adam, Brian, Marina, Evan, and Jodie…thanks for making this an incredibly fun and lifechanging experience. You pointed me in the right direction and opened up a new road I now need to work my way down until I reach the end. I certainly feel more confident and aware of all the obstacles around me as I head down that path, and I wish everyone else reading this post as much enlightenment as I’ve received, and as much future success as I’m working towards. Or better yet, if you’re in NYC, hit me up and we’ll go have a baller time. Catch ya’ll later ☺
– Sherlock – 6/12/2011
Life Changing Weekend with Nick Sparks
Before too much time goes by, I wanted to post my thoughts on the program I attended last month in NYC.
When I got back to the UK, I only had a couple of days back at work and then I was in France for a few days with some of my family, where I contracted a virus which I am still trying to shake off now. Okay well you might call it the common cold but you know how it is? (BTW, the weather in UK is unseasonably warm, stretching right back to early April and continuing for sometime to come apparently).
Anyway, that’s enough background – why I am writing is to say a big thank youto all the coaches, who were brilliant all weekend. Those of you who met me will know that at times it wasn’t plain sailing, but obviously the whole point of the course is to push you through comfort zones. At all times I really felt the love and genuine care and concern of all the coaches and the whole thing was mind-blowing.
I think it’s true to say that I didn’t really feel the whole effect of the course and any changes within me until I returned home. What’s most gratifying is that members of my family have noticed a big change in me. Of course I knew I was feeling different myself, but when other people feel compelled to comment on it then you know something’s happening. The process of the program seems to have awoken something inside of me and suddenly I feel much more optimistic and positive about my life prospects. So I would say it was definitely money and time well spent.
And I feel much more positive about dating girls as well, although for various reasons some outlined above I haven’t had much chance to put anything into practice yet. But I will say that I was walking to my local bar for a jam session the other night and I actually seriously considered running up to a girl in the street about fifty yards ahead of me and making an approach. Okay I didn’t do it, but just the fact that I actually considered doing it without really thinking it much of a push, was amazing to me. So that has got me to thinking that I need to keep honing the skills and ideas that were shown me on the course.
Anyways I just wanted to get something posted here to record my thanks once again to everyone involved on the course and I really hope to see some of you again in the future, either in the US or the UK.
– David H – 5/5/2011
Why Nick Sparks?
I’m Nick and I just finished a weekend with Nick Sparks in his Fearless program. It was quite an experience and to be honest it went by so fast that I’m amazed it was four days! So why take a weekend program with these guys? What will you get out of it? Why is it worth your time, effort and cash? Gather ’round and I shall spin thee a tale of my experience with this wonderful group of people!
The week started on Wednesday for our hearty group of three with some beer, walking around the block and getting cozy in Jonathan’s apartment (which is quite an elegant abode). We were anxious to find out what was in store for us and we took the time to get to know each other. We three had a lot in common, especially where it concerned our doubts and fears. We quickly bonded and made a blood pact that we shall see through the weekend together (there was no actual blood involved)! To be quite honest, I initially had doubts about the program due to the fact that I had taken a “bootcamp” before with a different company, and so I entered with a caution in the back of my mind. I was eager for those doubts to be set at ease and my excitement was overwhelming!
Thursday started off with a bang as we were introduced to Sir Nicholas Sparks. The gruff, scruffy man before us opened with a warm greeting and introduction, transitioning shortly thereafter into a brief parley of the overall material that we’d be covering and getting us in the mood to learn. Class time was used effectively and questions were cleared up in a knowledgeable and professional manner that expunged my doubts regarding the decision I had made to plunge into the program.
Thursday night was an initial foray into the vast wilderness of the New York City nightlife! What treasures would the night bring? We met up with Sunny and Danny in our pre-field class session where we went over many concepts and scenarios. The goal: to open as many girls as possible and see what reactions we could foster from them with the material we had learned. I can’t recall much of what happened on Thursday specifically, though I do remember that I made quite a few solid interactions with some very pretty girls (I believe that I did dance with a rather attractive Ukrainian girl!). Most of the night was spent being a bit nervous and unsure of myself (I had to step outside several times to re-centre myself and focus). I was extremely impressed and very touched with the amount of attention and care the coaches gave myself and my two companions throughout the night, as there were many personal pep talks throughout the course of the evening. if they saw a problem, they were extremely prompt and detailed with the feedback and were also extremely helpful in helping to settle the butterflies in my stomach.
Friday was a fast-paced day. In the classroom we spent most of it doing exercises intended to assist us in areas that we needed to work on (they’re quite fun as well!) and that night we got to meet two coaches who, frankly, are some of the most worldly, learned, passionate, well-rounded and intensely genuine individuals I have had the privilege to meet: Carolyn and Brian (apologies in advance if I misspell names :P). Together the coaches ran our group through intense approach scenarios that were riddled with detailed, pinpoint feedback. Never have I had such exceptional coaching and I went into the clubs that night with a confidence that rivaled that of Casanova himself! The night was exciting and the results spoke for themselves: it was a vast improvement from the previous night and I had the opportunity to experience sexual escalation to a degree I’ve never been able to instigate before then. And then there was sleep!
Saturday was the breakthrough day for me. We went through escalation exercises, learned the secret of “the look” and other methods with which to arouse women, but it wasn’t until our pre-field session that we got to the meat of my problem: self-doubts and the nagging voices in my head that were holding me back. I cannot stress enough how the way Nick and the other coaches handled that issue has solidified them in my mind as probably the best this industry has to offer. The resulting time spent dealing with these doubts, the intense emotional openness we all experienced, the breaking of so many walls and barriers and mental hurdles… I will never ever forget that night in my entire life, for it did nearly bring me to tears. I want to take a moment and sincerely thank the Fearless team for putting aside the scheduled material for that session and really bringing us to that next level. Words cannot describe how much it changed me and how much it meant to me and I believe Warner and Jacob would agree.
The night proceeded at a level that I have never experienced before. this shit was simple now. Nothing held me back at all. I was escalating rapidly and with a confidence I have never before experienced. I was making solid connections with gorgeous women and it all segwayed into Sunday’s day-game session.
Guys, I seriously cannot stress enough how easy it all becomes after taking this course. I met an absolutely stunning woman from France (the kind of stunning that would leave 99% of guys just staring and drooling), had a 30 minute conversation with a beautiful woman right in front of her boyfriend (we talked about everything under the sun!), spoke at length with a fashion designer who works at Ralph Lauren and made other deep connections in the middle of Union Square!
Thank you Jonathan, Nick, Brian, Danny, Sunny, Carolyn, Warner and Jacob for making this one of the most memorable experiences in my life. Nothing I have ever learned from previous BCs, online programs, books, etc. has amounted to the severe breakthroughs I underwent this past weekend. I cannot thank you enough.
What are the rest of you waiting for?
– NickYal – 2/22/2011
The Weekend of a Lifetime
The weekend I spent in NYC with Nick Sparks was an awesome and profound experience that allowed me to learn more about myself and confront all the concrete walls that stopped me from achieving what I wanted in life, whether it be interacting with women or being passionate about something and doing it…..
To give a brief background of myself, I was always considered the nice, cool guy that everyone got along with. However, when it came it to interacting with females / approaching them, I was always anxious and second-guessing myself, wondering what to say or thinking of ways to extend an interaction (due to neediness of wanting to get a gf right away/rejection). You can say it was the result of my upbringing, which I don’t regret.
Before coming across Nick, I was heading in the wrong direction with regards to dating and meeting women, reading and watching books / videos on how to become a PUA and learning their techniques. Trying to walk that path led me to some of the worst female responses/interactions I’ve ever had. However my weekend changed all that.
First Day (Friday)
My first night out, there were two main instructors (Nick Sparks and Jodie) and three assistant instructors. They were the five of the friendliest, most down-to-earth people you’ll ever meet. We ran through basic conversation drills before heading out to the bars. At the first bar, my walls were up and I froze at every attempted interaction.
At bar two, Nick, Jodie and the other instructors helped me push through my initial barriers. When I had shut off and became resistant to talking to anyone, Nick and Jodie took me outside to calm me down, which really helped.
Second Day (Saturday)
The second day, Nick, Christian, Jodie, and Fran ran through conversation, body language, and tonality drills. They corrected the facial gestures and body language that have been hindering me in social situations. One of the drills that stood out was the rap star dialogue, where we acted like hip-hop celebrities just to get the social momentum going, all of which fit into who I was.
Later that evening, we went through some escalation drills before going out to the bars. As soon as we hit the bars, I had put all the work from the past two days into action. Many different things happened, from having a woman feeding me Mac & Cheese to interacting with several groups of females, and even helping out a fellow brother. Throughout the night, the guidance I was received from Nick and the instructors helped me realize the true potential I possessed and gave me the confidence to apply that in other aspects of my life.
Third Day (Sunday)
Recapped the previous night with the crew over lunch and had some interesting and meaningful discussions.
What I learned from Nick, Christian, and everyone else over the weekend really helped jumpstart me in the right direction into becoming more social. Aside from enabling myself to interact with more females than I ever have in one night without the comfort of my friends, I’ve learned and will to continue to learn what it takes to be a leader of men.
Thanks to Nick Sparks and the crew for a life changing weekend.
– Nickster_1 – 11/28/2010
MY Fearless Weekend (11/11-11/14/2010)
Its been a few days since boot camp and ive had some time to reflect and soak it all in. From start to finish it was just an amazing experience with moments ranging from, laughing so hard my face hurt to making major breakthroughs that will help me not only with women, but with life in general…Especially when the revolution comes!! lol
All the coaches were incredible, and it was great to meet all of them. If i had to pick a few things that stood out the most about the entire program, it would be how much the coaches genuinely cared and how passionate they were about helping us. They were all extremely down to earth and easily related to all of us.
Nick, you’re an amazing human being and i cant thank you enough for all the advice and insights you shared. Just with the lectures alone i had plenty of aha moments, not to mention speaking with you and observing you in action. A few moments that really stick out in my mind right now was when you were speaking about the importance of paying attention, being interested not interesting, having a child like curiosity, and of course…. snip snip! lol
Johnathan(Christian), I really felt before meeting you, that i could relate a lot to your story, so it was incredible to finally meet you. I really cant thank you enough either for your wisdom and exercises to help me slow down and relax, as well as letting me crash on your couch. One of the biggest breakthroughs i had all weekend was on saturday, when you were talking about conversation and to not get self conscious or be afraid about taking things to the absurd. Thats a big part of my natural personality, but for some reason up until that point, i never did that in conversation with women i didn’t know. Its almost like you gave me permission, to give myself permission to do that. And also on the conference call tonight, how well you spoke of us students (Craig, Ofer, and I) was really good to hear, coming from someone i greatly respect.
Adam S, It was amazing working with you this weekend. Your encouraging words and how well you could relate to me, as well as seeing you in action was inspiring. One of the things that really helped me was how good you were at pointing things out that i was doing wrong, then explaining exactly what you did when you were in my position to fix them. Also when you were pointing out the openness and closeness and reinforcing all the things Nick taught us in class. Sundays day game seminar was a blast! Thanks so much!
Adam E, having spoken to you a few times on the phone before boot camp it was great to finally meet you. Our talk about approaching someone closed off, and not to worry to much, just be confident and approach helped a lot. Honestly if it wasnt for you, i probably wouldve missed out on this great opportunity, so thank you so much.
Sunney, My twin brother!! lol it was great hanging out with you, and i learned so much. Just our conversations about “game” and just life in general were awesome. The nights on the subway back home, the girls we talked to, the times you winged me (not sure if thats english, but im using it anyway lol) and seeing you in action were inspiring. Thanks again for all your advice!
Carolyn, just your openness and overall willingness and desire to really help us really showed. Your encouragement, insights and advice from a female perspective were invaluable and truly made this weekend much easier. Thank you so much!
Brian, Another one of my biggest breakthroughs was when you were talking about how fear and excitement manifest themselves in the same way. They way you analyzed and broke things down, then explained them just as well, proves your going to be a great doctor. Thanks again!
Christina, the exercises you showed us to help with paying attention were amazing, the curve balls you threw at us during the conversation exercises kept us on our toes and got us ready for the nights. Your female perspective was extremely helpful as well as your insights with escalation. You really cared, thanks again.
In conclusion, I really cant say enough good things about all the coaches,how helpful they were and how amazing this experience was. I just want to shout out my boot camp brothers Craig and Ofer, watching you guys break down the walls you had was very inspiring and helped me challenge myself to do the same.
– dannysnightout – 11/18/2010
My Fearless Weekend (September 16-19)
It has been a week since I participated in my life changing weekend with Nick Sparks. Let’s just say I was at a wall in both my personal and professional life. Like most human beings when your personal life is not in order it is like it takes energy away from what is important.
Bottom line Nick pushed me to understand the importance of just being social and getting past that uncomfortable feeling of meeting women I am attracted to. Guys out there may understand that advice you get from friends like don’t go looking for it it will come to you. Well, you have to get the skills to go get what you want. Nothing is given to you in life.
The training I recieved along with my friends from London and Denmark was not what I expected. I felt although I spent a pretty penny, Nick, Adam, Adam (There are two Adams by the way), Brian, Chris, Jody and Claire really cared about us getting better. I really have much respect for the program created by Nick.
This past weekend I left with an uplifting feeling. A feeling that I could interact with women and not come off as a sleeze or needy. What made it even better was going through the course with Wil(London), Uve(Denmark) and forgive my memory another gentlemen who lives in New York. It was definately a brotherhood of Men who wanted to be even better Men and were tired of how our social lives were.
I highly recommend this weekend and if at all possible do it with a group of guys. I originally planned on doing the weekend as a solo session but learning from your peers is critical because they understand where you are coming from.
Special Thanks to Christian Hudson for letting me stay at his place due to previous circumstances. Nick who through is actions and his hard work really cared for my progress. Adam who I worked with for 6 months to work through my administrative questions. Claire, who provided sound feedback and from a woman’s perspective was sincerely companstionate. Jody, very patient woman and really pushed me through training. By the way Jody is a Blues Hockey Fan so she gets extra points. Brian, brother your expertise from a clinical physhologist perspective reinforced what we were experiencing. Adam (Purple Shirt), I only got to hand with you two nights but your energy and sincere want to help me was appreciated…..I sincerely hope I didn’t forget anyone.
If you are on the forum please feel free to ask me. I will be honest as I can.
– Blues Hockey – 9/26/2010
My Weekend With Nick Sparks (16-20/9/2010)
I’m only a day back from the US and my time with Nick, Adam et al and already I feel calmer.
It’s like I just have a feeling of knowing just what to do…
It’s Crazy – As Nick said more than once over the weekend.
Granted I can’t handle every conversation with absolute perfection right now…but what Nick and the guys have given me is a quick and simple system that helps you read the situation with both women and within yourself and tweak your accordingly for better reactions as per the feedback your getting.
What I do next with it is up to me, but already in conversations I feel calmer, more authoritive and better able to influence other people’s emotions, and that’s not just with girls, but with everyone.
The gift of “Fearless Method”, as Nick calls it, is that it allows you to use it any moment to better instil behaviours in yourself and to get better reactions for day to life. Not just with women, but with people at work, your family, people you meet at the bus stop. EVERYBODY. It’s just a simpler and better way of thinking. Thank you brother.
In a nutshell, you know when to take a conversation further, and, when to cut bait and you don’t have to sacrifice any of your personality to do it. It just feels easy and natural, and it just makes you aware of the great skills you already have with women. I can’t speak highly enough of it and by night 3 the progress I was making was astounding to me. Nick pretty much had to drag me away from the girls at one point to talk things over at the end of the night because things were going so well. It was amazing, and so much fun.
I can’t recommend highly enough working with these guys, and after my time in NY I know I don’t need to seek any help from anywhere else. These guys just have it down pat, and, made me realize I could to.
PS: On another note…I’m just gonna lay out some quick thanks and props to some of the guys I worked with other the weekend as well as Nick as they more than deserve it.
Firstly JCH, who was gracious enough to offer me a bed for the time I was in NY, and who offered some great insight into my progress as well as some awesome philosophical conversations on the wind-down from the weekend over some hookah. He was also considerate enough to work within my current financial situation, which I was more than thankful for. Also thanks to Adam E, who kept a close eye on us all weekend, and whose easy going manner allowed me to pepper him with questions and worries at every opportunity. Thanks to the girls, Jody whose lovely banter challenged me to come up with some of the best one-liners I’ve ever come up with, ditto with Claire. To the assistant coaches, Brian (PacShady04) whose insightful mind helped me get over more than one sticking point I was totally unaware of, ‘Lavender’, whose easy going charm and nature made me realise how far I could go in such a short while, and Chris who made sure I stayed motivated when I was getting hung up on feedback.
Also to the guys on the weekend with me. It was a joy to go on this journey with you. You know who you are, thank you and I look forward to hearing all about your progress soon.
– Will_London – 9/23/2010
Experience of Weekend Program from 16th – 19th Sept 2010
I’m still loving the fact that I was part of a Flash Mob on the last day together with Nick : ) Can’t wait to see it go up on youtube : )
So, where to start…
Let me first state that the program without a doubt pushed me to my boundaries, mostly ina good way : ) . However, my personality, way of thinking, and existing experience/knowledge threw a pretty big wrench in my attempts to really break through that last stretch. And yet, at times I was able to do really well with almost no effort at all. So whats up with all this inconsistency : ) I’ve done some more reflecting on that which I’ll get into in a moment.
As I see it, the Fearless method takes a just-do-it, learn-by-doing approach. With it comes the advantages and disadvantages of any method that requires people to just throw themselves into the heat of the battle and just trust and hope that it will bring out the best in them.
As it was pointed out by you guys (Nick and co) on several occasions, the Fearless method requires clients to just trust that it works and just do it. If you didn’t, then there was a large risk that it wouldn’t work; that made this a single point of failure and because of that, the guys who handle the admissions to the program try to filter out those clients who they suspect will run into this barrier. It would probably have been easier for the coaches if I hadn’t been let in, but I suppose I was neither unsuited for the program, nor a pefect candidate, and was given the benefit of the doubt. I still think that it was a good that I was a part of this.
Now, I don’t entirely suspend my critical thought no matter who I’m with, but this shouldn’t have been a problem. However, there was quite a bit of tension between Nick and me, because I just wasn’t able to just “trust” Nick : ) , and Nick really wanted me to in order for the program to work for me.
Obviously I do trust Nick, because when seeing him in action, I know he knows what he’s doing. But his attempts at inspiring action in me, just weren’t compatible with me.
When Adam (Lavender shirt) coached me instead for like 30 seconds in the bar, almost instantly was I able to do really well, so something fishy was definitely going on : )
I bet we all got 17 different theories on what was going on, but here’s what I think:
Im a strong visual-spatial thinker (http://www.visualspatial.org/assets/…0Strengths.pdf), and so I approach learning in a different way.
This brings up three points:
1. I don’t learn well when I feel pressured/threatened and a lack of confidence.
Nick had good intentions when trying to inspire me to act by being aggresive and putting pressure on me (that sounds worse than it really was), but he wasn’t aware of the possiblity that it wasn’t having the intended effect on me, and realized too late what a negative influence it was having on me. We did work out our differences later, so kudos to us for not taking things personal : )
When my confidence was up however, I did pretty well and needed only little tweaking.
2. The way the Fearless method is structured betrays the significance of the underlying concepts that are so important to it.
Almost all of us clients had difficulty buffering enough. Yet buffering was crucial to creating good, sustainable chemistry, and still it was presented as just one item out of a list of 6-7 items. It would have made more sense (to me at least) to put more emphasis on our objective being to ensure chemistry at every step of the way.
Then there should have been significantly more exercises and discussions on the ways of achieving that (Eye contact, friendlyness/openness, buffering, Im-ok-youre-ok mindset, etc ).
This would have gone a much longer way to helping us break past the initial (and probably largest) barrier of jumping in/dropping the hook by giving us more confidence and make us more able to crerate chemistry out of thin air.
The Fearless method tries to overcome a clients lack of confidence by trusting that the confidence is only intially lacking, and that positive responses coming from “faking” openness and confidence will eventually start to build natural openness and confidence. The very common learning-by-doing method.
While being a perfectly valid strategy, I feel that it should’ve been complented by a work-smarter-instead-of-harder approach. A visual-spatial (like me) would have appreciated that enormously and likely would’ve had a much easier time getting consistent positive responses.
3. There was a lack of explanation of what goes on in a bar-setting. For those who frequent bars often with their friends, this would probably be largely unneccesary, but I’m very unfamiliar with the bar setting, and not understanding the purpose of hanging out at a bar had some negative influence on my confidence level. Understading this to some degree would have given me a higher “permission factor”. Thankfully, Brian explained this to me during our lengthy talk such that I was able to figure out the rest myself.
It was a great thing that there were other coaches present to weigh in with their own persepctives. Brians peptalk to me outside the bar was extremely useful (maybe even the most useful) and sent my thoughts off in great directions which eventually led me to understanding what was going on for me, both good and bad.
It was great to see Nick in action. No reason for Nick-bashing here : ) it was very inspiring to watch him startup conversations with female strangers, both during practice in MrHudsons apartment and IRL, and just went to show that it really, really doesn’t matter what you say : )
In the end, I did feel like I got significant value out the program, although I had to go through some extra frustration and extra thought process to get there (I usually do, so I’m not completely unfamiliar with tis). I’m not yet where I want to be, but I know that I’m very close now : )
Also, there’s going to be some follow up calls, as well as this forum being available for discussions, so its not over yet : )
For those who didn’t partake in the program from the 16-19th, some of the above smilies probably won’t make sense to you : )
I’m looking forward to hanging out at this forum, contributing with my perspective on things, and hearing from other clients!
– uhmdown – 9/22/2010
Weekend in Orlando
Just wanted to share in brief my experiences with both my Fearless Experience and the first month or so afterward. I was part of a program in Orlando in late July at the 21 Convention.
A little bit about myself – I’m a rising senior at a medium-sized university. I’ve been pretty bad with women my whole life, the typical story, I started off kinda socially awkward and spent much of my teenage years playing video games obsessively. In college I progressed slowly but surely to the point where I was actually having a modest amount of success.
I signed up for the program because, despite the fact that I had finally managed to get laid the previous year, I still wasn’t living the kind of life I wanted with regard to women, in that I was getting the quantity but not the quality. On the side, I guess I was also looking for some inspiration. The last few months I’d had a pretty rough time in that area of my life, but several other bad experiences, such as losing a group of old friends over some girl, left me really bitter and doubting that my struggle to learn how to be good with women was worth the effort.
My overall experience with the program was pretty damn excellent. In all honesty, the weekend was like a breath of fresh air after the couple of experience I had with other coaches – a lot of other coaches tried to make their sessions into military drills where I just had to approach everything that moved up to and including female police officers on duty on the street. While it did have its benefits, it wasn’t exactly something that I could easily apply in my daily life – it’s not like I’m going to go into NYC with my bros and spend our time hitting on girls in the streets. The program was a lot more low pressure and a great deal more fun, and I honestly think I got more out of it.
In that same vein, I think my biggest takeaway was that I didn’t have to control the conversation too much, that I didn’t have to worry about running out of things to say, and that overall the whole process is a lot easier than I thought. We had a classroom session where we learned a couple general fundamentals and a couple tricks, but the classroom session mostly consisted of live practice. You think its hard to talk to a girl in a bar, try it when you have 4 other guys in the room dissecting every move you make . This was definitely one of the more productive parts of the weekend, Nick pointed out a couple of things that I was doing subconsciously that I would’ve never noticed on my own.
The “in the field” part of the program was also pretty great. Again, a lot less pressure than you would expect, felt more like a night out with friends than a pickup training session. The Fearless method encouraged me to break down all my expectations and fears, and instead just be myself and open up a genuine connection with the girls that I talked to. That’s one thing that really stuck with me in the weeks since the weekend, instead of trying to be a sorta dancing monkey trying to keep a girl’s attention, I’m honestly enjoying going out and meeting all these new girls.
So again, overall, very satisfied with the experience. The only thing that I can think of to improve my experience would’ve been an extra classroom session, but that wasn’t a particularly big deal. I’ve made a lot of progress over the last month or so, had a great time, and have some hilarious stories to tell for it. Looking forward to seeing where I end up from here. Much thanks to Nick and Francis for an awesome weekend.
– Leonidas126 – 9/7/2010
What I learned From a Weekend in NYC
- Getting girls is easy
- You’re the one making it tedious for yourself
Like many guys who’ve worked tirelessly in their professional lives, I’ve had a hard time accepting how simple getting girls can actually be:
You look them in the eyes. Listen attentively. Touch them when they want you to. And nature takes over from there!
Before heading to NYC to hang with the honorable Nick Sparks, I could already hold a decent conversation. I already had stuff going for me. But I just wasn’t able to make things click. What Nick (and friends) helped me do was put it all together and strip away the obstacles I had set in my own way.
I’m not one to leave long, raving reviews, so I figured I’d give some practical pointers for anyone considering this:
- My program had two students, two main instructors, two assistant instructors.
- Nick is an absolute pro. Trust his stuff, ask questions, and pay attention to what he does! Some of my key takeaways didn’t come from the classroom, but from watching Nick in action.
- Jodie is awesome. If more women were as friendly and approachable as she is during the classroom drills, the world would be a happier place. Her feedback was very helpful for picking out nervous ticks / the things you would never notice about yourself.
- Many of the assistant instructors were former students. Each brought a slightly different view that helped round out Nick’s perspectives.
- Naps will be your best friend. The courses are intensive but not exhausting. Staying out late, however, is exhausting.
- If you stay out past 3:30AM, don’t bother going for the Metro or you won’t be back til 5:30AM.
- New York City is a zoo. But it’s an awesome zoo, with some of the most interesting characters and most beautiful women you’ll ever meet.
- The Pod Hotel is a great spot for anyone on a tight budget. ~$130/night for a swanky, clean, albeit cozy single. Easy access to public transport.
– Ethan – 8/25/2010
Training with Nick Sparks
Here is the email I sent to Nick a few days after training. In an effort to capture the true emotion of the experience, I refrained from editing it.
Just wanted to touch base with you. This weekend was such an incredible experience for me. As I said yesterday I’ve always known I had the abilities, but I was glad to have a way of seeing it for myself. That is, beyond all else, why I knew that I needed live coaching so badly. I’m sure you’ve had students in my situation, who have more friends than they can imagine, have always been atop the social circle in HS, and even (despite all my collegiate shortcomings) in college as well. I never made it to my party…Fucking subway system is so goddamn awful and confusing. I gave up and ended up walking through time square back to 33rd street path station…NO FUCKING WONDER NY NATIVES DONT GO THRU TIME SQUARE…ITS A NIGHTMARE.
Today was interesting in the sense that I just felt more relaxed at work, I was able to breathe. A girl who works under me has SEVERE issues with authority…shes not sassy….shes acts like a straight up bitch. Part of my job is dealing with her shit, and normally I get so tight and it drives me nuts. After this weekend I just kept breathing through and stayed relaxed. Put the onus on her…even smiled and politely said bye…like “wow I’m being this nice to you and you’re still a bitch” LOL. Its funny though, becuase a few other girls I work with there, though I’m not going to try and hook up with them, did have a different dynamic to our conversations, which I feel is directly attributed to this past weekend.
I loved being a part of the class. It was a true joy to experience something as a student, and be counseled, while also feeling like I could contribute to others in the class. I felt it helped me a lot to be able to observe others, hear their issues, and input my own take on stuff. I know I obviously have a long way to go, but I enjoyed not only feeling very lucky that I’m so self aware, but also being able to find a way to share what I know in a way that benefitted the other guys. You guys have been influencing my life for about a year now. While I’ve seen some good results before this weekend…this experience I feel is a turning point in my life.
Was just hoping if you get this today you could shoot me an email about some specs relating to first dates….I have one tomorrow…..so any advice is welcomed. And Anything you can talk with me about relating to “Day Game” would be helpful. I’m not really around a lot during the day, but I am in class a lot during the fall, and I will be on vacation Saturday, So that stuff would all be a HUGE help.
Finally, It was great spending the weekend getting to know you. If for nothing else, spending some time with the people that have helped me make such a big transition in my life outside of seeing a video and reading words was quite an experience. I can’t thank you enough for working with me and making it possible to receive the direction I sorely needed. I’m aware its only the beginning, but its getting the ball rolling thats always the hardest.
Hope you enjoy your day.
Be good my dude
– Pacshady04 – 8/19/2010
Training with Sparks
Just wanted to share my experience from a few months ago when I flew to New York City to work with Nick sparks 1 on 1 training. My meeting with Nick from the get go you feel a good energy, and I knew I was in for a good experience.
Inside of Christians apartment overlooking the park, Nick, 2 others and myself sat on the couch and shared our backgrounds. We almost immediately jumped into training, stressing every minor bit that seems silly but in actuality the little things make a huge difference.
Hitting the town… From the moment I stepped out of the cab and met the guys at the street corner, smiles formed on all of our faces. The smiles came because earlier in the day my button down shirt had popped a button when I stretched, when I stepped out the the cab the same happened to Nick really setting a good mood and easing and instability we had going into the night.
That night we talked to many groups of women and single women, where my greatest success came was at the bar when a girl came to me. My confidence was blaring across the room, everyone in that bar felt it and even guys were giving me nods of approval. I ended up just collecting numbers that night, and one huge lesson.
How I am doing now of days? I’d go as far as saying very good. This link is an email I recently sent to Nick…
My satisfactory is high, not only with women, but life in general. I started stepping things up all around, now I am looked at more as a leader then a follower.
The next goal for me, I would like to become a coach as well. Look for a blog to be coming from me soon with more of my background and please let me know what you think. I am on facebook, and am more then willing to answer any questions that anyone might have. feel free to contact me, and any advice I can offer would be great.
– mike.gerstel – 8/4/2010
So, I recently decided to pony up and take a Sparks of Attraction program. I had been reading a bunch of online newsletters from a few different dating companies – which was helpful – but I really wanted personalized advice. Like, I wanted to see myself in the mirror. Am I coming across as too shy? Too forward? Too sexual? Not sexual enough?
Along came Nick and his crew – I was introduced by the Unbreakable free clip. I immediately felt as if I could relate to these guys as normal, cool human beings. Not all hyped up b.s., like some of the other companies out there.
So the moment of truth was a weekend a few weeks ago. It started out one night one-on-one with Nick (he sent me flying into groups of girls at a dizzying pace), and then the rest of the weekend with the whole crew (with two other students). I think we had about a 2:1 instructor to student ratio (not the other way around). Total immersion in this for 4 days.
By the end of the weekend, I had battled through most of my fears, anxieties – and gotten a really good look at who I am, and what I look like to others (i.e. hot girls). Using my new knowledge-base, I promptly went out and talked to just about every cute girl I came across – pretty much without hesitation.
And guess what…. I’m now dating 3 really cute girls, all of whom I met on a totally cold-approaches. This would have been pretty unheard of b4 the program.
I’m happy I did this… (Self-actualization is key, right?)
And a footnote. After getting a bunch of numbers from girls, I wanted to know what the heck to say to them over text. (Don’t want to f’ this up now…) So I got the B4 U Text Her program. This was the perfect supplement to the live program. Just lays out the rules of the game – in no uncertain terms. Really clearcut awesome advise.
As Nick said to me right before we finished the weekend, “Just trust the system. It will work.”
….and it has.
– stevekefa – 7/21/2010
I Found Myself
I’ll try to make this as short as possible.
I have been family friends with this girl (let’s call her AK) I’ve known since we were 5 and 6 (respectively). I used to live near her in Pennsylvania, but now I live in Texas. We’ve been good friends for years and she never really saw me as more than that, maybe because I was always a shy, low value dork. Recently my family went up to Pittsburgh for a wedding and stayed with AK’s family. It was here that she got the chance to see the new me, the more confident me, the “Fearless” man I had become. Guess what? It completely changed her mind about me. Long story short, we are now in a relationship, long distance of course, but we’ve been friends for so long and know each other so well that we know it will work out. We’ve decided to settle down and making our plans for the future, and trust me when I say that this is what I really want.
I came to Nick seeking advice on getting “laid like a champ” but I ended up finding one person I’m really happy with. Nick has really transformed me from a boy to a man (). I had promised myself to not settle down for a while, and now I find myself going back on my promise, but it’s a great feeling.
My general expression these days is basically but in a good way. Maybe this made me discover that I’m not the hookup guy, I’m really the relationship guy. But anyway I was wondering if there’s a place I can get more in-depth relationship advice.
So thanks to Nick and this program I’ve become a real man (as corny as that sounds). I’ve also decided that pursuing this is not really what I want anymore. I’ve spent enough money on these programs, and even though they have worked for me, I feel like I’ve stopped at the perfect point, without turning into a person who is too casual with his sex/relationship life.
But that’s just me, I’m not saying everyone should scrap their current lifestyles and find a girlfriend, just make sure what you are aiming for is really what you want. I hope you guys also have some kind of positive revelation about your lives as I did.
– Cilogy – 7/2/2010
My Weekend, ended October 25th
Let me start with a real quick personal history to explain where I’m coming from and why this made sense for me. I started out high school as a nerd with few friends, but gradually I ended my high school career as one of the more popular kids (I was, in fact, the prom king). During this time I was actually pretty popular with girls (they would always ask me out, but never the other way around). But I never really got anywhere with the girls because (1) I was really religious at this time, (2) my family is pretty antisocial (we never had anyone over), (3) I generally had no clue what to do (I didn’t have any friends who were good with women), and (4) I was just weird (I can’t just go around blaming external factors).
Then I went to a fancy college and a fancy grad school and got a fancy job. I built up a killer resume, but at the expense of completely forsaking my social life during this entire period.
I had a girlfriend for the past two years that I met because a mutual friend set us up on a blind date. She was great, but together we made a pretty boring/antisocial couple. My life was basically divided between her and a job and other side projects that conveniently expanded to fill all the rest of my waking hours.
When we broke up early this year, I realized that I had dug myself into such a hole socially that I literally had no one to hang out with. On the rare occasions when I went out with friends, I would cling to them and never talk to strangers. The idea of talking to a girl and getting rejected scared the crap out of me.
The worst thing about this was that I was such a rockstar in high school (again, plenty of girls were attracted to me though I had no idea what to do with them), and it hurt so much to know what that was like and then come down from that and be stuck where I was.
I decided I needed professional help. This would mean a live program, since I didn’t have the time to read a bunch of material online, I could afford it, and there was no other way I was going to force myself out there.
I went with Nick for a few reasons. Given my history, I felt like I had quite a few of the pieces of the puzzle already together, but buried deep within me; I just needed some normal social guys to hang out with, to push me to talk to strangers and to tweak how I led my interactions with women. They basically seemed the most “normal” out of all the guys that run coaching programs out there. They were in my age range, they were smart, they just seemed like good guys – only they were much better at social things than I was. I didn’t need a lot of diagrams or complicated theories, and I had no interest in dressing like punk rocker. If you’re going to pick a program, go with people that have a similar style/way of moving through life that you do.
Now, the actual weekend itself. The first thing to point out is that there wasn’t a lot of formal structure to it. Basically, you show up at 7:30, chat with Nick for about three hours then head out. What you talk about during those three hours is loosely structured and very tailored toward your own questions and concerns. There’s no whiteboard or anything. It’s you telling your story, asking questions and getting answers. Much of the instruction the first night had to do with body language and vocal volume. The implicit goal for the evening was just to talk to strangers and have fun, no canned routines. (By the way, my understanding is that the structure of the programs is evolving a bit, so your experience might be different from mine.)
My immediate reaction after the weekend was over was, “I wish I had some routines that first night to help me with the conversations.” But with more hindsight, I think Nick’s approach is the right one. I’ve since had guys come up to me and groups of girls I’m with and use “the crazy horsey girl opener” or some other bullshit, and it just sounds horrible and contrived. People should be getting blown out way more than they are with that stuff and it’s a good indication of how generous most people are with their attention that they aren’t. There’s always something to notice or talk about, but you’ve just got to get used to talking to strangers.
Nick’s feedback, particularly in the area of body language, was enormously helpful. What you say almost doesn’t matter at all. It really is 90% body language. Mine was stiff. He reminded me to be loose and move around a little, shifting my weight from side to side. Sometimes he’d do this by basically bodychecking me when I was talking to a group of people. At first I thought he was just a clumsy asshole, but then I got the idea .
He also taught me to emote more. When you first start talking to strangers it’s a really scary thing, and it shows in the stiffness on your face. You’ve got to emote and be expressive like when you when you’re telling a great story to close friends. You can say the exact same thing, and depending on your body language and your facial expressions, get two completely different responses. I had picked up a habit at work of using a poker face all the time, and I’ve now shaken it off thanks to him.
Another particular sticking point for me was talking to taller women. I’m not really short, but there are definitely plenty of attractive women out there that are taller than me. Nick helped me by pushing me to confront those fears.
The first night went well. No numbers, but that really wasn’t the goal. I met and talked to more people that night than I used to in an average month. No one really blew me out, and everyone was pretty nice to me. It was a quiet but huge step in the right direction for me.
The next night was unusual because due to logistical issues (Nick and Christian were at a conference that ran late), Nick and I didn’t connect till very late at night. This was fine though because Nick still took me out that evening, and they both more than made up for the misfire: over the next few weeks they invited me out just to hang out a couple times, and I eventually got another Saturday night session and my wrap-up brunch in. They’re both stand-up guys, and if you’ve signed up with them they’ll make sure you leave happy.
So for my “official” Saturday night, the pre-game talk was focused on taking the conversations in more fun, flirty directions, and making physical contact. I’ve since seen a lot of material people put out on the subject of escalation, and I’m convinced that these guys have the best, most natural approach to it. I’ve written a crazy amount already, so I’ll leave it at that.
Long story short, I pushed myself further and, among other things, talked and sat down with a group of eight girls, and later got a number (who I ended up going out with a few times so far). The latter was huge for me, since it was completely cold (I usually at least try to get eye contact first) and I had never actually gotten a girl’s number at a bar before.
But I think the real extraordinary results happened in the weeks ahead, which I think is unusual, and speaks to the depth and quality of the seemingly simple things they teach. (I think the usual story with other coaches is that the experience is a huge high and then people come off it and revert to their old ways.) I’ve been hanging out with some guys who are practicing this stuff (including one of the guys I met on the program) and I keep pushing myself to get master this aspect of my life.
In the past week, for example, I made out with a girl on Tuesday within 10 minutes of meeting her. Friday, I engaged a group of five tall gorgeous, absolute 10s that no one else had the balls to approach (I ejected myself 10 minutes in for no good reason, but still), and on Saturday I met two girls and I’ve set up dates with both next week.
It’s spilled over into the daytime too. There’s a girl who works in my building who is one of the ten most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen in my life (including magazines, TV, everything). I’ve seen her, like, twice in my couple of years working there, in the elevator, and I finally got the nerve to approach her the week after my program. We’re going on our second date next week. But I’m kind of busy since I’m seeing four other girls. I can go on.
All of this is not to mention that I’m also hanging out with a bunch of guys who are really cool, positive, and are actually out to actively improve their lives (this is a rare and lucky thing to find).
So, in short, I’m absolutely glad I worked with these guys. It’s one of those very rare occasions when you buy a product and you’re actually happier and happier with it over time. They basically teach you to be a normal, but also super social and sexy guy, and that’s really what most guys want to be in the end.
If you have any questions, let me know and I’m happy to answer. If you’re in the New York area and you’re interested in this stuff, message me and we can absolutely talk. Happy Thanksgiving!
– lupin – 11/27/2009
I took the red pill – Nov 6-8 Weekend Review
This post may ramble as my circuits are still fried from this past weekend. In a word my weekend was fucking AWESOME!!! my eyes are opened now and i have a gameplan to go forward. just 2 small shifts have made a world of difference. This post will be different from others as I’ll log my post weekend experiences as well. Nick said this is when the biggest change will take place.
Friday- I arrive in Ny friday afternoon and the city’s charged up, I can feel it in the air, tons of yankee fans out and about. At first I felt overwhelmed with the pace of the city. I’m from DC but the pace is nowhere near this fast. I head over to the location for the seminar portion. We had a female instructor who offered her feedback and we got to practice approaching her. It helped that she was cute.
Nick went over opening, approaching, body language and how a “pickup” should look. from there we practiced approaching Jody. She gave feedback on what we could and should do, as well as how it “felt”. She said I was too far away and to get closer, much closer. This feedback was invaluable. After the lecture/discussion portion we headed out to the first venue. I was kinda nervous and stiff. NIck told me to loosen up, and he helped out alot. First venue was packed when we got there, I felt out of place and self conscious, I was still. Nick basically read the room pointed out who was “open”, who wasn’t and showed us how to read a room. He pointed out 2 girls at the bar, and told me how to open them. I went in, convo was good, but fizzled. TOTALLY my fault. I was in my head and didn’t direct it and keep it fun. We went to another part of the bar, nick pointed out a group, i went in, but i completely fucked up the opener. nerves set in. didn’t bother though I needed to warm up. On the way out Nick was like I need to wawrm up. He approached 2 chicks who looked bored and seconds later they’re smiling and giggling. It was then I knew that I made the right decision to take a program with Nick. He stayed with them for awhile and then we bounced. Once I saw how he interacted with them it was like the picture became clear. it’s like going from black & white tv to HD. We left and went to another spot down the street. This venue was more my speed. ON the way Nick made some observations on how our approaches looked, what we should do going forward etc. here he told us to just approach anyone we wanted to talk to and he’d be nearby. We walk in, I’m loose feeling good and go right up to a cute brunette. she bites, and we end up talking for a good 10 minutes at least. really good convo. looking back if i would’ve gotten closer to her she would’ve bitten harder. I did waht Nick said and it worked almost perfectly. Nick also read the room in this spot here. I did like 8 approaches here, none were really memorable just good conversation and vibing. I had good convo with a cute chick that goes to Syracuse but her friend pulled up into the crowd to get a drink. I figured I’d see her later and re-open but I saw another guy with her so i observed what he was doing. VERY close, in her space, lots of touching etc. i then see him pull her into the bathroom line. i’m like dammit, that could be me. i was cool becuz it just confirmed what nick was saying earlier that i need to work on. so it was added motivation. nick pulled a cute redhead earlier and they’d been exchaning txts back and forth. i observed how he pulled her and learned a ton. end of the night we debriefed outside, i was feeling good. I also noticed that everytime i saw a cute chick i noticed something about her that i could use to open with. NICE.
on the subway back to my hotel i gamed 2 chicks. the first 1 was standoffish as it was after 4 am. cool. another one was staring in my face on the train so i had to say something. she left me no choice.
Saturday- i woke up charged up feeling good and hit 34th st. i warmed up by talkin to the retail chicks, i pulled a hottie working the shoe section of macy’s. i went upstairs and was hittin on another one working the men’s dept. this one i actually wanted. nice convo, nothing to over the top as it was the daytime and the place was crowded.
i got ready to meet nick and john for a lecture, recap of last night and new topics. we both wanted more game on convos, transitioning etc. and how to keep convos from goin stale. nick explained pivoting and then we did some drills on pivoting. after that we headed to the next venue to get in and beat the crowd which we did. while there we formed the “bro circle” and talked about the game etc. we let the crowd build up so we walked about the venue. we then spot 3 cuties and each of us took one. i’m talking to one and i found out she’s married, so i’m openly hitting on her telling her if i was her husband i wouldn’t let her out of the house. she’s like you shouldn’t be so insecure, i’m like that’s not it, i just know there are guys like me who will hit on you regardless and you may fall for one. she giggled, said that was cute. nick took some pics for them and the convo was nice. we left on a high. im still scanning the room looking for more chicks to get at. we go back to the bar get beers and nick’s still dropping jewels on us. we take another walk around the venue and bump into the same group of 3, this time we’re talking to different ones, instead of the married blonde i approach the really cute brunette. this convo hooked and hooked hard. nicks got this move where he bumps me if i’m not “moving” enough. he pushed me and the convo with the brunette got hotter. lots of touching, laughing, she’s leaning into me and it was on. i think we talked to them for 30-45 minutes. they decided to go to a club. we exchange numbers. after this it CLICKED. i found the missing piece to my game. nick pointed out another group of 2 chicks who were open. without him telling me i went right up to them. AGAIN they bit. i engaged both of them and we talked for a nice while. as it turns out they had to catch the train back home, so i told her to txt me she says NOOOO take my number and text me. so she gave it to me i called her to let her know to lock me in. NICE. this one was really cute. we’ve beeen exchanging txts ever since. nick debriefed me and told me it was basically text book. i was in the moment and didn’t notice, it was just flowing. nick points out another 2 and before he says anything else i pounce. by this point i was able to see who was open to be approached. nice convo ensued. by now it was after 2 so we left to talk shop and get a few beers before finishing up. nick went overtime to answer questions, provide tips and techniques and tell us what we could do to improve as well and what we did right.
all in all it was definitely worth it. this game is about pushing boundaries, and getting out of your comfort zone which i did. now since the weekend i’m compelled to say something to every cute chick i see. i always have something to say to them and it’s almost automatic. i cant wait to see where things go from here. my game is going nowhere but up.
i can see myself training with nick again in the future.
all in all one of the best weekends in my life. the other guy in the program was cool as shit as well so that made it more fun. i learned from him and nick and we gave each other props. again, i had a ball this weekend and am looking forward to coming back to NY.
– thepromoter – 11/10/2009
I feel like a new man
It’s been a week since my boot camp and my whole world view. I was on the same boot camp as Vanguard so the basics of what Nick went over are the same.
About my experiences. I’ve had one girlfriend and that was back in my freshman year of college (TOO LONG!). A combination of laziness, negative experiences, and lack of opportunity was something I had allowed to weigh me down for too long. I needed to get out there to secure my long term happiness. Nick has definitely shown me the way.
First Night: I arrived late, but learned something about travelling New York. I was still in time to hit the bars. Nick and I talked about my past negative experiences and how to get past them. My first cold approach was a wash (they were on their phones). My first cold approach was a disaster, but my next one with a group of 4 was simply awesome. At the next bar, I fumbled a conversation with a birthday girl but then wound up having an awesome conversation with one of the waitresses.
Second Night: We went to the same bars and I had much more confidence. I had a ton of great conversation with several girls at Spitzer’s and it felt really good. I just felt more of my insecurity drain away and replaced with good and honest self confidence.
Third Day: We met Nick for Brunch and we talked about other basics we could go over and how we can continue to grow and learn.
This was one of the best weekends of my life. CHEERS!
– Draconus – 10/26/2009
The World is New (My Fearless Weekend)
For an idea of who I am. Before my program, 0 cold approaches. I’ve only asked out 2 girls in my lifetime, both attempts were answered with no. And, I’m definitely not a young guy.
I think my best description of my weekend would be to relate it to other experiences I’ve had facing my fears. I learned to swim late in life (in college), and one of the greatest assets to my learning was just feeling safe in the water. I felt safe because my teacher showed such confidence and familiarity around water that I felt safe as a natural byproduct. I learned to scuba dive some 5 years later, and one of the instructors literally held my hand on the first day. That sense of safety was crucial to my development.
Nick was my coach. And, a large part of my success was that he made me feel comfortable in the club environment. His “bro circle” as he called it, his presence, and his ability to simply control and elevate the mood of pretty much any social interaction really made the difference. He seemed to know just when people needed a break and when we needed to be pushed. Much like any good sports coach, he pushes you to your limits. Equally impressive, he shows you what’s possible with his in-field demos.
His knowledge extends into essentially all things social. And, during the discussion portions, you really see just how vast his knowledge is as he just saturates you with information over the sessions.
The discussion was focused on getting to know us as people, our expectations, our experiences with women, and what we’d like from our experiences with women. We did an exercise on taking the lead in a conversation and another one focused on body language.
In the field, Nick more or less tricked me into opening a girl waiting on the restroom. It was exhilarating and scary, but went well. Nick gave me a few points on things that I said and did. I was able to get in maybe a half-dozen little jokes and such with strangers throughout the night, but failed to open any more sets. Nick was quick to recognize that I was spent and sent me home to recharge for the 2nd night.
Cold Approaches: 1
The lessons of the day were more focused on conversational topics, elevating moods, and physical escalation. Nick gave us some advice that was more specific to what he saw happening with us in field form the previous night.
In the field, Nick focused on providing insights on various groups throughout the club. Trying to spot people ready to be opened. He was essentially demystifying the whole scenario.
This night started off really shaky for me. It was over an hour into the night before I opened my first group… Nick was there again though, elevating the mood, bringing the circle together, etc… I started the night with spilling some guy’s drink on accident, but that turned into a great conversation and introduction to several members of his group. Before I got too comfortable, Nick pulled me out and sent me out to unleash my new found talkativeness on the rest of the bar. I opened another 4 groups that night including a singlet, a pair, a wedding party, and an octet. I found after each interaction, I had more energy for the next, kind of an additive effect. Nick caught me between groups giving me little insights on what he saw as well as critiques on the way I carry myself. The jewel of the night was that I got my first number ever and it felt natural as I had a wonderful conversation with this woman.
Cold Approaches: 6
Essentially, this was a wrap up. Nick reviewed our interactions from the previous night in greater detail. He went over a few more advanced techniques including the “Secrets game”, managing large groups, and being an effective wing. He also advised us on how to followup on numbers we’d received.
The energy I felt after my program had me beaming for two days afterwards. It was a momentous weekend for myself and I believe for the other participants as well. And, in the same way we elevate the moods of people around us and have them look forward to their next interaction with us; I think this weekend helped me to feel and see what’s possible in the field so that I associate those feelings with approaching girls and I now look forward to it. Afterwards, I really felt empowered. Whereas before, I tended to feel apologetic and intrusive when approaching… I’ve been enlightened to the fact that people want to be talked to, and I can energize their night.
Cheers to all of you that’ve read this review.
If you haven’t gone with any teachers and are thinking about it, I highly recommend these guys.
– Vanguard – 10/21/2009
Spark of Attraction Weekend 8/7-8/9
Whatever I write won’t do this justice but I have to put something down.
First let me tell you I am the classic Introvert and I have decades of poor social habits to untangle. On the first night Nick really went at it fixing my Eye Contact (“Don’t look down when you break eye contact.”), Expressiveness (“Over do it!”)(“Practice Big Smile!”), and Body Language (“Keep Moving!”) (“Rock in, talk, Rock half out, Eye Contact, Rock all out holding Eye Contact.”) He also talked a lot about reading the groups as Open or Closed according to body language or stance which really stuck with me and seems to be a piece that isn’t covered in other dating programs.
After 3 hours of this and other background discussions pertaining to my experience and Nick’s theories we hit the bars with one of his continuing students who was about 6 weeks ahead. I pretty much tightened up in the first bar and Nick prescribed Bomber Openers (“Can I interest you in a threesome?”) I tried that twice and the first group I tried barely knew I was talking to them and the second group didn’t think it was very funny. Nick went back to the second group and I could barely look but he appeared to do a lot better with them. I talked to two other groups in that bar and didn’t get very far but in between my attempts I observed the other student and Nick was continually talking to me about what was going on in different interactions that we were observing. We left the first bar and I was pretty frustrated. Nick stayed on me reframing all of my insecurities and doubts. He is pretty amazing at the inner game piece as well. He got me to do another Bomber Opener on the street and that was pretty much it for me that night. I observed Nick open a couple of sets on the street and I can say he is fearless and effective. The last set I saw him do was a group of tired girls at the end of the night who looked closed but he got one of them going with his Toys in the Bedroom theme.
On the second day Nick called me in the morning and told me not to worry about what did or didn’t happen the night before and to spend the day doing something unrelated to pickup.
When we met for the second evening we reviewed the night before. He told me I was like a performer peddling my magic in the street for coins and that I need to believe that I belong on the stage. We went over conversational techniques like paint a picture with her words and play with it, give just enough to make her intrigued and then Lead (“short answer”, “How about you?”, “How did you like that?”, “Seems like you have _____ feelings about that”, “What’s your favorite thing about it?”). When she reveals something reward with genuine interest and share something about yourself.
The second night of field training started a little slow and I tightened up again but Nick took the opportunity to do some more narrating of the different groups interacting in the bar that we were observing so we could experience his perspective. We also got to see Nick do his cigarette approaches and it appears more difficult to get New Yorkers to share cigarettes than to get women to open up to you. When it finally got late enough for the New Yorkers to go out Nick cut his students loose and I threw myself into it. I used more social openers than the previous night and I was more relaxed and the results were a lot better. Of the five two-sets I opened, I believe I got four of them to interact. Three of them were very open to me and two of them could have been girlfriends if I was better at this. One of the two I lost in the conversational steering part when I somehow let things get political. The other one was really into me but I didn’t escalate and she eventually had to move on.
We met for brunch on Sunday. Nick told me there is a point in the interaction where you have to Shit or Get Off the Pot and that’s where I lost a couple of sets the night before by not escalating. He told me to “Pound on the Keys!”, put in the work, be the leader of your group and email him questions.
Overall I was very pleased with the weekend even though I struggled a lot with the infield portions. This is probably not the last live training that I will need to get to where I want to be but I would definitely like to work with Nick again.
– James L – 9/29/2009
Weekend With Nick
Last Weekend I took a program with Nick. Before I started writing this review I was thinking about what I should say because I dont want to sell Nick or Christian short.
First Id like to say that working with them was an all around amazing experience. It was great to work with two guys who were pushing me and getting me to do what I would not do on my own. Also they are two normal, relaxed guys who really get it and understand women and interacting with people. Whether it was the girls out at the bar or the girl bringing us lunch Nick was always able to make them smile and become interested in what he was saying. This ties into one of the most important lessons he taught me. he taught me that you can directly influence others just by how you speak and carry yourself.
When I first met Nick and Christian it was a friday night. We meet up and talked first about me and what I wanted. Nick also brought a girl with him whos advice was invaluable. I had the best of both worlds that night. I had Nick coaching me and then I had a female input also which was a great insight. When we hit the bars Nick showed me how to look for who is open to an approach. He also showed me how to spot if an interaction between a male and female was going well or not. when we were about to leave this he pointed out two girls who were looking around. You could tell them werent there just toi hangout. I opened them with a simple “hey whats going on” and they responsed excitedly. WIthin minutes Nick come over and even quick he had one of the girls all over him. This proved to me he was the real deal and knew what he was doing. As I talked to the other girl I watched also what Nick was doing and was shocked at how quick he was able to escalate. After about 20 minutes we decided to leave the bar. We headed to a place where some of my friends happened to be and it turned out to be a great night. Again Nick and I were both in and out of conversations with girls. It was definitly an eye opening experience to see Nick in action.
The Next night we met up at the same place again. This night it was only me and Nick and we had no female input. We went over what I had to work on and he gave me some conversational tips and physical escalation tips. We then headed out to a bar across the street to grab a beer before the rest of the bars got going. While here, Nick agained showed me how to read groups and decide whether we should approach. While there we spotted a group and approached together they were prob 10yrs older then me but greeted us warmly. We stayed in conversation with them for a little and then left. We hit another bar which we stayed at the enitire night and ended up being a great decesion. While here Nick throw me into group after group until I became comfortable with walking up to girls and saying “Would you be interested in a threesome”. As wierd as that line sounds it worked every time except once. Through the night a few of Nicks friends came by who were great guys and knew what they were doing. They also gave me some useful pointers and tips. Over the course of the night I ended up approach a lot of girls, most who were older than I was and still responded greatly to me. I forgot to mention the fact that I am pretty young. At about three oclock I headed out after thanking Nick for a great night and went back to my friends where we continued the night.
Overall Ithink this was one of the best experiences of my life. Working with Nick showed me how much I was getting and how lost I really was. I was never bad with girls but I could be much better. Over the course of the weekend Nick taught me a lessons which I wont forget because he kept reinforcing it. He told me that no matter have far you think you are pushing it with the girls, you are no where near where the line is. This got me to start stepping out of my comfort zone and I kept improving from there. Beinging around Nick this weekend was great. Nick told me how important I was to be physical and I think that has changed me the most. He taught me alot about non-verbals and I saw alot just by watching him interact. I think that as much as we as men love to know what to say, the verbals are not as important as we really think. There were points in this weekend when I said the stupidest stuff but had strong eye contact and it didnt matter. I think this was the most important of the many lessons Nick taught me. He is such a positive and it just rubs off on you. I cant think back to the weekend and remember a time when he wasnt smiling or just enjoying whatever he was doing. If you are thinking about taking a program I highly recommend it and think it will be one of the best descisions and investments you make. Finally I would like to thank Nick and Christian again for a great weekend which I will never forget. This is just the beginning for me.
– Frank D – 9/24/2009