How to Navigate New Relationships

After a slew of great dates, the next question I always get is: “What do I do when things start clicking?”
Here’s how to eliminate past mistakes and finally get it right.

A couple standing close together, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes, with a moving red train in the background.

The Rush & The Trap

If you’ve been putting yourself out there and working on your social skills, sooner or later you’ll meet someone who makes sparks fly.

Soon you’re messaging and seeing each other as much as possible, but once that pattern is established, it’s hard to break. Meanwhile, small quirks or red flags you would’ve noticed get blurred out by the rush, and before long things are moving faster than you’re ready for.

A woman and a man having an argument on the street, with the woman pushing the man's chest.

The Wrong Fix

When the rush gets overwhelming, most people swing to one of two extremes: they either pull back or cling harder.

Pull away, and suddenly you’ve “led them on.” Hold on too tight, and you’re “smothering.”

Either way, you’ve gone from exciting prospect to villain in their story—a role you never asked for. The drama and confusion that follows is exactly what makes so many people want to quit dating altogether.

A man and woman sharing a romantic dinner at a table decorated with rose petals and fruit, holding glasses of red wine, in a modern kitchen.

A Better Move

Instead of drifting into drama, take the lead. After that follow-up date that you both couldn’t wait for, say something like:

“In the past I’ve rushed into things and it hasn’t ended well. Because I actually like you, I’d rather take this a little slower so we give it the best chance.”

That honesty keeps expectations clear and sets the tone for a new rule…

A December calendar page with the 17th circled in pink, a white pen with a red bow resting on it, and a gray background.

The Best Path Forward

The goal isn’t to rush into any relationship—it’s to create one that lasts.

Sure, some couples are such a great match that they can break the rules and thrive, but those stories are the exception. Risking your emotional well-being on long-shot odds isn’t a strategy—it’s self sabotage.

Instead, be the one who leads with clarity. Slow things down while you still can, and suddenly dating stops feeling like drama, and starts feeling like the path toward something real.

Still having trouble navigating new relationships? Let’s talk.

The Once-a-Week Rule

Limiting your dates to once a week may not be what either of you want, but it’s what gives you:

  • Time for the rush to pass so you can process your feelings

  • Space to miss each other and let desire build

  • A better sense of whether this person fits your life long-term

  • Slower intimacy so two weeks of dating doesn’t feel like moving in together

If it’s not the right fit, you’ve only invested a few dates instead of your entire emotional bank account and romantic reputation. And if it is the right fit, you can always increase the pace—slowly.

A young couple holding hands and facing each other in a field of tall grass at sunset, with the sun near the horizon and a clear sky in the background.