Here’s the uncomfortable truth: many of us—men and women alike—are drawn to people with dark triad traits.
We chase them in our 20s, get burned by our 30s, and some of us never learn the lesson.

Why We Want Them

People love to dissect confidence, charm, and manipulation—but it’s simpler than that. Dark triad personalities give us the one thing that feels irresistible: a chemical rush. They hijack our lizard brains, pulling us on an emotional roller coaster that’s hard to get off.

That spark of intensity is the definition of infatuation. It’s intoxicating. Addictive. It tricks us into thinking we’ve found “true love” when, in reality, we’re just hooked on a dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin-fueled high.

The problem is, love isn’t a lightning strike. It’s something built over time. When we confuse a chemical rush for real connection, disaster usually follows.

A Dose of Reality

Here’s the hard part: there may be no way to “rewire” this attraction completely. It’s baked into our biology. But like a golfer who knows his shots always curve left, we can adjust our stance.

The key is awareness.
The moment you feel that intoxicating rush—the butterflies, the obsession, the “this is it” moment—stop. Engage your non-lizard brain. Tell yourself:

“This isn’t proof I’ve found the one — I barely know this person. This simply is a signal to be on high alert for red flags, because I’m likely to ignore them.”

That shift in perspective won’t eliminate the attraction, but it will protect you from confusing a chemical rush with a real connection.

The Payoff of Awareness

Here’s the beautiful part: awareness alone can save you years of wasted time, pain, and self-doubt.

Yes, many people with impulsive or addictive personalities will keep chasing the rush, despite numerous red flags, until they’ve been traumatized or worse. But if even one person reads this and walks away from a toxic “soulmate” they would’ve otherwise chased… it’s worth it.

Because you are worth it. And real love—the kind that grows steadier, deeper, and truer over time—feels nothing like addiction.

If you’re worried that the person you’re dating isn’t good for you, Let’s talk.